Is Life What Happens While We’re Making Other Plans?

Is Life What Happens While We’re Making Other Plans?

When I was young I remember my mother and grandmother had a phrase they used often. It was their version oh well or que sera sera. I remember them saying, “Man plans and God laughs,” over and over. It seemed to address every situation. Death, a divorce, a disappointment, sickness, it seemed to apply equally to any situation.

But what does it really mean? Where does it actually apply and why?

Assuming you are a religious person you would believe that God is in charge of all things. Your destiny is determined before you’re born and even after if you believe in reincarnation.

So what is the issue with free choice and doesn’t this saying in effect eliminate your free will? Your ability to choose the life you want without interference. Then what is the truth, do we have the freedom to choose or are the choices made without any input from us at all?

My grandson asked me if I believe we have free will. Without getting into a religious discussion, I answered simply, yes about most things. What you have for lunch, what movie you want to see, the video game you choose to play, the choices we make in our own lives each day.

However, and here’s the caveat, in my estimation the big choices that affect our path are chosen for us. If on the way to Starbucks for a coffee we are meant to meet our demise, than it’s no longer a small choice, but one that’s predestined. So can we really escape our fate?

We set out in life on a path and if we veer off the universe has a way to push us back where we belong. Part of our journey would include; when we are born, die, our children our soulmates and of course the lessons we are here to learn.

Many, including my daughter believe that the lessons not learned will be repeated. If that’s true I have to say I am a slow learner because it seems like I’m always making the same mistakes. Yet if I have no free choice aren’t these mistakes inevitable and perhaps I’m destined to never learn them? And if it’s part of our destiny to learn, then what happens when we do? Does that signal the end for us, or are there always new lessons after we’ve conquered previous ones?
I’m no expert here but I do believe in destiny because I’ve witnessed it at work in my own life. Major life choices I assumed I made seem to have been pre-chosen for me and there was some type of cosmic interference in the most important ones.

So many people believe there is no fate and you are on your own. Whatever you do or how you live your life is strictly up to you and how things turn out is because of the choices you and you alone have made.

If that’s true then why are there so many choices and why do some people seem to instinctively know what to do to enhance their lives? While others, and I guess there’s no other way to say this, screw everything up?

Are some born with a superpower that allows them to instinctively know the best outcome while some are clueless?

Is there a psychic ability some possess and others don’t that allows them to live great lives while others are constantly faltering? Can having an “old soul” truly be a character trait many possess?

Is it man or is it God or Destiny that has the final say here?

I don’t know why life seems so random. Why was Cindy Crawford born looking like Cindy Crawford while others can break a mirror just walking past one.

A question I’ve always asked is: why can some eat anything they want and not gain weight while others can just sniff an éclair and gain five pounds?

Or why people are born into wealth and privilege while others face horrible circumstances in every area of their lives?

Can it be something in this life that determines our destiny before we’re even born?

Obviously this can only be the case if we’ve done something before birth to determine how we’ll be rewarded or punished in this life incarnation. Perhaps kicking our mother too much in the womb?

Are our trials and tribulations simply a result of a past existence we screwed up and are now back again to make everything right?

And did those who have good lives earn them before by conquering the lessons somewhere else?

Damned if I know. I’ve shaken my head too many times to count watching horrible people, who have done nothing but hurt and abuse others, be rewarded for their selfish, callous ways.

I’ve also seen wonderful generous giving people who spend their lives helping others suffer terrible fates.

Then what’s the answer here? Not so sure I buy the “karma” explanation anymore. Since I wasn’t there when the universe was created I can’t say for sure what this whole human experience truly consists of, or its purpose. Actually I’m not certain there is any purpose at all some days.

Many say you come back with a good life if you suffer in this one. Others argue there is no karma and what we do in this life has no bearing whatsoever on any lives past or present. It’s just one and done.

Is there a destiny, do we have free will and are we on our own here with no one to answer to but ourselves?

Do we choose our path and if wrongly chosen will we be forced back onto the one chosen for us?

I myself have thought many times about other lives I had planned to live and wondered how I got here. Is this truly the life I’d envisioned or did I miss the cues that might have led me somewhere else? 

I’ve always told myself it’s never to late to live out your dreams, but as I get older I find myself asking, were those dreams or merely an imagined life so destiny led me somewhere different? If that is the case then it is to late.  There are no do overs and although we can make changes, in the end we can’t go backward and relive another desired existence.

If this all sounds a bit familiar and a great deal sad, perhaps it is. Mostly because we lived believing we had free will and might have chosen quite differently had we known we actually did not.

So many ask themselves and others “if you had your life to live over, what would you change?”

I have never had the courage to admit I might. For in saying I’d want another life I’m expressing regret for all the good things and blessings in this one.

Perhaps we as human beings are not born with the skills or insight to choose wisely so we must be guided.

Should we have regrets? Should we castigate ourselves for bad decisions or accept our fates.

Had we ourselves chosen might not our life be empty and devoid of those sad moments that allow us to distinguish them from happy ones? And don’t we need both to understand the human condition?

By now you’re thinking I’ve taken the long way around the block to get to the same place, and perhaps I have. Perhaps because this is a question that can’t be answered.

Yet I know with certainty that as one nears the end of this voyage we truly understand the meaning of how we selected and where it all ultimately led. Why regret our choices when it’s simply easier to believe our lives were predestined. Performing the shoulda coulda woulda exercise on our lives is a wasted effort.

I say there’s nothing like blaming someone or something else for our mistakes. Now that’s a lesson most people learn very young. Perhaps God is always laughing when he sees what I choose and after all everyone loves a good laugh.

I believe the blame game comes under the heading of “The Dog Ate My Homework and Other Time-Honored Excuses.” Too bad dogs can’t eat chocolate or I’d use that one all the time.

Easy Peasy Meatball Soup

Winter is coming and even those hardcore never cook at home diners crave something easy to make on a cold snowy night. If you’d rather stay home in lieu of braving the elements, try this. It takes no time to make and it’s so tasty, you’d never know it’s a true hack.

2 Cans of Campbells Tomato Soup

2 cans of milk or half and half

½ cup of spinach

½ pound of hamburger

1 tsp Italian seasonings

½ teaspoon basil

1 slice of no cook lasagna noodles

½ cup of grated parmesan cheese (optional)

salt and pepper

Season the hamburger with salt and pepper and roll into tiny meatballs.

Place cans of tomato soup in a saucepan and add other ingredients with the exception of parmesan cheese. That’s for sprinkling on top of finished soup.

Add meatballs and turn on low heat. Break up lasagna noodle into small pieces and add to soup. Cover and cook on lowest heat until meatballs are done and noodles are soft, gently stirring occasionally. 

Serve with a sprinkling of parmesan if desired.

Enjoy!