Tag: supplements

Who’s your BFF?

So many of my friends have spoken lately about how their lives have become smaller. Where parties, loads of friends and social engagements were a big part of their time, that isn’t the case any longer.

I thought it was just me.

Of course there was a pandemic that kept everyone antisocial for over a year. We were secluded in our homes, talking to most people over Zoom or Face Time or chatting on the phone. Or even at times to ourselves!

Whether or not COVID has anything to do with slowing your party roll or not, I can’t say for sure.

But I have noticed that I have become dependent on new besties that I run to in times of need. A slew of new BFFs that I can truly count on and know will be there for me? More friends all the better, right?

I suspect others may have adopted these new buddies as well.

Please let me list a few.

Top of the list for new BFF would have to be my heating pad. I’ve been through many already. Heating pad is always there to offer help. To warm and comfort me when I am aching or stiff. Even when I am sore in places I didn’t realize I had places and to restore balance to my body and equilibrium. The new ones have new shapes and soft fabric that adds that soft cushy feel to the radiating heat. If this sounds like a commercial for heating pads, it is. If I could wrap myself in one like a blanket as I go about my day, just call me Chief Aching Joints.

Who could know that I would be so dependent of a piece of cloth that exists to only heat up and stop pain. Oh sure you need friends for emotional pain, but heating pad just sits there, totally lacking in personality. It possesses no ability to make me laugh, do the housework or throw in a load of wash, but it beats a robot vacuum by miles.  

When I was young my mother was always lying on her heating pad. Then I didn’t understand how anyone could be so attached to a square piece of warm cloth, but now I see. The fact they haven’t changed in all these years speaks volumes. Oh sure the fabrics and sizes may have been modified, but they continue to do one job and one job only. Perhaps a lesson in the old adage, jack of all trades master of none. I’d say old heating pad is a master at what it does, and I’m not alone in that assessment.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my new buddy, Melatonin. Who knew? Not that there’s melatonin, but that I would ever have trouble sleeping. I used to literally fall into bed and within minutes I’d nod off to dreamland like someone who had just plowed forty acres without the mule. However, things changed and now it’s like plowing forty acres to get to sleep. Oh we try everything. Watching TV, listening to relaxation tapes, music, playing mental alphabet games. Despite the fact you ultimately fall asleep, in an hour or two you’re up again to make that first of many trips to the bathroom. Yep, the days when you could just lie down and actually sleep through the night are all gone.

Another of my new besties is, drumroll please, Physical Therapy. Go figure the best part of my day would be going to stretch, strain and then the best part, the massage. Oh glory how a massage can undo the stress of well, all the things stressful about this getting old thing. Then at the end they put this electrical current thingy on, I think they call it a E-stim, and a heating pad or ice and you lie there just soaking up the heat thinking how did I ever live without this? You leave feeling looser, calmer and in less pain than when you came. Who couldn’t love an experience like that?

And to think I used to think finding a new chocolate bar was soothing.

As if these old age goodies aren’t enough to add to the new best friend list, we have a whole group of buddies made up of what I call body helpers.

Stuff that makes everything easier. Wrist, knee and neck braces, lidocaine patches, handfuls of supplements each day. There are drawers full of band aids, pain relievers, bandages, antibiotic creams and all kinds of other tubes and potions. These are designed to heal and fend off pain and protect our ability to be mobile and independent. And let’s not forget lip liner for women. Oh that pesky disappearing lip line.

Sure it sounds crazy to signify these things as BFFs but let’s face it, what are friends for?

To comfort, share experiences with you, listen to you, uplift and just be there to try and boost you when you’re down.

All these things do that without even talking, offering advice or pointing out a better way to go.

Once our skates, footballs, bikes, basketball hoops, swimming pools, TV sets and cars along with so many other things we took for granted when young were our besties, along with our real-life friends of course. Now we also rely on new ones. Oddly we seem to even appreciate new and old friends a bit more. Perhaps that comes with aging as well.

Sure our choices have changed along with our bodies, but our minds haven’t gotten the memo. I still think I’m twenty-one and despite evidence otherwise, these new BFFs keep the illusion partially alive.

So a big toast to new friends, even as we appreciate the old ones even more.

Has anyone tried that new red light therapy thingy? Are they safe? Oh well, I hear it keeps you young so on my way out to try one now. After all, you can never have too many friends.

So I Got This Text From my Liver: Stop Sending Me These Damn Pills

In elementary school they offered a class in home economics which taught us the art of loading a dishwasher, how to stuff a date and how to sew a waistband. Okay, so none of these things truly prepared me for life as a whole, but at least they tried.

I feel entitled to bitch because I am so tired of getting a senior discount without even having to ask for it.

Now I’m wondering why no one prepares you for the greatest challenge in life…growing older.

Sure, people write books about how to live forever, how to age gracefully and how to stay healthy, but by the time you need these books you can already write one yourself.

So, what is the secret of learning to grow old gracefully and dealing with all aging entails?

Wrinkles, loss of mobility, forgetting things, wrinkles, loneliness, health issues, did I mention wrinkles cause I forgot, and of course appetite, medical and pain issues.

If one is lucky enough to live into the laugh laugh golden years you are on your own as to how to deal with the constant craziness that inflicts your existence each day.

Men find it impossible to get through a night without a dozen trips to the bathroom, where women can usually get through with only two or three. No one tells you your bladder retires to Boca years before your actual body and you’re left with only the memory of a functioning bladder to get you through the day. And night.

Is there a solution here besides Depends, prostrate surgery and if that’s an option good luck to you?

Your body seems to take on a mind of its own which is a good thing since your mind is usually out to lunch. Now most of the exercise I get is from walking into a room, forgetting what I came for and walking back out. Then two minutes later I remember and walk back in again. Hey, it ain’t Dancing to the Oldies with Richard Simmons, but it is a form of exercise, sort of.

Who ya gonna call when you look in the mirror and see your parents staring back at you? Is that my mother’s ghost or me? Either way it’s scary as hell!

Nothing raises a red flag to signal you’ve crossed into an ancient zipcode than your body telling you it’s time for dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon. 

How many times have you heard your friends say,” I can’t eat any later than six o clock or I’m up all night?”

I had spare ribs for lunch on Sunday and I was still tasting them at Monday night’s dinner. I used to love a great spare rib, now the only rib I can handle is when my grandson’s tease me about getting old.

I also wish someone would tell the truth about reducing inflammation. Can I help my arthritis if I stop eating dairy, meat, drinking wine or liquor, (just when you start to need it most) fried foods, bread, chocolate, sugar and wait a minute what the hell is left? And no, I don’t think you could make an argument that eating only Kale could be considered a quality-of-life diet. 

I just found out I have arthritis in my jaw. Guess we know why that is because if any part of my body is degenerating from overuse it would definitely be my mouth! Isn’t it bad enough that we have to watch our once full and luxurious locks disappear down the drain every time we wash our hair? Now I have to consider eating and talking a luxury.

Or that we have to see the stretch marks once on our hips start drifting downward to our thighs? 

Can someone teach a course in how to see the numbers on your cell phone? Or how to spot a spam call about social security or where to get the strength to get off the couch?

Of course there are older people that have enormous energy and are tech savvy. I have many friends who play pickleball, whatever the hell that is, and some are even still working. 

So what’s the big secret everyone has to write a book to share?

Many say it’s attitude. I suppose an argument could be made that mind over matter is a component, but I’ve known many people with great attitudes who are six feet under right now and didn’t make it to old age.

I guess there is not one magic bullet that can keep us young. In fact, I don’t think there’s a whole gun store full of bullets that can accomplish turning back the clock. And this whole schtick about age brings wisdom is a crock because wisdom is meaningless if you can’t remember it. 

“Yes, grandson so when I was young I used to believe that, but now as I’ve aged I learned…”

“Learned what Grammy?”

“What I just told you. The bit of wisdom I just imparted to you about that thing. You need to remember these gems of wisdom I tell you.”

“What gems?”
“About the thing we were talking about.”

“But you didn’t tell me anything.”
“I just told you what I learned.”

“Okay, Grammy, sure and thanks for sharing your wisdom with me.”

You watch your grandson walk away shaking his head and believing he’ll never get old and forget like you; but we all do, we all do.

Is it possible to exert any control over these “things” that happen to you? To change the direction your mind and body are taking and reverse the trend?

Hell if I know. I think we all make an attempt to do what we believe will help slow the process.

I’m learning a new language because I’ve heard it helps your brain. How can you actually measure if it works or not? If it doesn’t I won’t remember I even learned that language anyway.

I’ve heard exercise helps. Well that’s something I can’t verify since my arthritis has decided the days of running and leaping are far behind me. And yes I realize there are also chair aerobics and low impact choices, but I’ve never pretended to like exercise except for retail cardio and I won’t now. Besides, I count changing my sheets as exercise and I’m not the only one.

So what about eating? Okay moving on here since the thought of living without ice cream or chocolate sends a chill down my spine only equal to the shower scene in Psycho. 

Is it fair that having spent my entire life being too short for my weight I’ve now shrunk and need to lose more weight to keep up?

Is it stress? Hello, it’s stressful getting older. How can you feel calm when every time you pick up the phone or check out Instagram you hear someone else you know has just died?

Is it helpful that they can’t make a hearing aid that creates such a loud buzzing you can’t hear anything? 

Good luck living stress free in the golden years.  One shooting pain in the “good” knee elicits a “damn-not-another-knee-replacement-stress reaction.”

Ah let’s get to the supplements. I have friends that spend about an hour a day just trying to ingest all the pills. Between the prescription drugs you need to stay alive and the vitamins, minerals and strange sounding supplements the average liver is spending all day just trying to sort and send to the proper organs throughout the body, there’s little time for the fun stuff. 

I can hear my liver bitching now…

”Let’s see now, the E is for the heart, the C for immune, D for what was it? How many letters are in the damn alphabet? What the hell is SAM E? Where should I send all this crap? I’m shutting down and going on strike here and no, don’t dare send me any supplements to boost or cleanse me!”

At a time of life where minutes are so precious, I refuse to spend most of my day swallowing pills!

Begs the question; is there a fix for old age? Sure, death. I guess that’s the only way to stop the aging process. As long as we’re here and breathing our bodies are slowing down.

When I was a kid Jack LaLanne was the symbol for exercise and a healthy lifestyle. He died at the age of 96, but so did my mother and she never met a salad or a healthy meal in her life.

The only exercise my mother got was running after my father to yell at him. Actually, that did provide her with a lot of steps every day and she must have worked off a ton of calories screaming.

If there is an answer and I’m not sure there is, we can only do the best we can. Sometimes I’m better than others. Some days my diet is atrocious and some healthy. 

Some days are stress filled and others Zen.

At times I walk a great deal and other days my ass is attached to the sofa cushion.

There are so many variables involved in how one ages I could spend days trying to name them all. 

I still believe it’s a cocktail of genetics, luck, lifestyle, environment and attitude. 

I also believe it’s silly to worry because eventually something’s gonna get you. None of us lives forever, so as long as we make an attempt to enjoy the minutes we have; what the hell, maybe that’s all we can do. If you agree just yell yes! Oh forget it, I probably couldn’t hear you anyway.