Can Wishing Really Make It So?

What if a genie jumped in front of you on the way to the kitchen and offered you one wish?

I think it’s a sure bet you’d stop your search for something chocolate to eat and pay attention.

But here’s the thing, what would you wish for if you only had one wish?

Sure, you believe you’d know immediately, but would you?

Standing there with the opportunity to change everything about your life could you decide what’s most important?

Even if you were confident what wish you’d make, would it actually cover the entire specter of your needs?      

I’m thinking probably not.

It’s easy to say if I had one wish I’d want…

But is it really?

What wish would truly change everything and give you the power to control the things you never wanted to happen? Or the things you do?

Of course, we’d all want to wish our loved ones back into our lives. And yes, it would be wonderful.

Yet wouldn’t it be better had they never left us in the first place? Wouldn’t it have been better to spare everyone the pain and heartbreak that comes with loss?

Sure, but how could you ever accomplish that end?
And what about the choices you made that didn’t pan out the way you thought they would? That weren’t completely thought out, made in haste or had the opposite effect you’d anticipated?

That’s a lot of wishes to cover; mistakes, bad choices and the do overs we aren’t allowed.

So what wish might encompass enough territory to truly make an amazing difference in our life’s path? Is it even possible to land on one?

To waste a wish would be foolish when there is only one to be had? It’s quite the dilemma.

I’ve thought about this a great deal, and yes, I have too much time on my hands. I think I may have solved the problem of what wish may include the greatest amount of good.

Go with me here, please.

I think I’d ask the Genie, who by the way looks and sounds just like Robin Williams, for a chance to fix every bad thing before it happens.

Huh?

That’s right. I’d want to know if any choice I was making, or anybody I knew was making turned out bad before it happened. That way I could change the outcome and prevent bad stuff from happening.

Could you only imagine how different the world would be if we all could stop the horrible things from happening?

Yes, I understand the whole Butterfly Effect thing.

How one small change can cause a massive ripple through time, but isn’t that the point? The consequences of the actions are entirely the point.

So, although the Butterfly Effect may change the outcome, isn’t it the actual outcome that we wish to avoid?

How wonderful would it be to warn the people we love to get their heart checked before it’s too late? Or to get any medical test that would stop them from getting sick. To stay home when going out could be deadly or watch those steps before they fall.

So many things and small choices can lead us down a road of no return, but the wish could stop all that.

It would literally undo the unfortunate results of any act or decision that had resulted in irreparable harm.

However, would anyone heed our warnings? That’s another blog entirely.

To erase the choices that have taken us to a place we’d never wished to enter would be amazing.

It would be a mistake proof existence. No regrets, no beating ourselves up over stupid or foolish options, never losing the ones we love to pain and suffering.

We would know before bad things happened. That way we’d be able to prevent the moves we and others made that negatively impacted our existences.

But there’s the rub. For there already exists a warning bell within us which rings to advise us about mistakes. That little gnawing in the pit of our gut that is saying loud and clear, this isn’t a good idea. Yet too often we ignore this voice or override its alert.

Do we suffer afterward? Yes, but by then it’s too late. But perhaps ignoring the voice is the only choice we actually can make, because the control doesn’t really lie with us.

Of course, I’m assuming that those choices were ours to make and not some universally forged blueprint written in stone.

The belief that fate intervenes to ensure the life chosen for us plays out as planned.

I, as many others, have been privy to moments that practically screamed, “sorry, you need to do this or that and not the other.” Actually, I must say destiny has a pretty big mouth.

The Italians have an expression, “La forza del destino,” the force of destiny.

So if that’s true perhaps knowing the future isn’t really a very good idea. Especially if we can’t change or make it better.

It would probably be more painful to eliminate the element of surprise. We’d have to live knowing that something bad is going to happen we can’t fix.

Isn’t it enough we often feel so helpless and frustrated when faced with unexpected tragedy we wished we could have changed?

I suppose we’d all like to believe we could have “do overs.” That a momentary lapse of judgement ruined an outcome we hoped for. Or ignoring that little voice in the pit of our stomach that’s screaming, “Danger Will Robinson,” was a foolish thing to have done. I imagine the real question is; Can we control destiny through wishing? Or must we merely accept reality and come to terms with our fate?

So many people I know believe you carve out your own life. I suppose to a large extent, this is true. The daily choices we make like vanilla or chocolate, Maj Jong or canasta, drive or walk, belong to us.

But what about the life changing ones like, when we are born, die and whom we marry? What path we follow or do we have what it takes to overcome the great challenges one may face? These may not be ours to choose.

Perhaps it’s a bit of both, or none, I’m not the boss of the universe so I can’t say.

I just know I’d like to believe we have a bit to say about how we live our lives and even what our future will be. But then again, I also believe in Santa Claus, the Ark of the Covenant and the FBI spying on me through my computer camera. So maybe I’m not one to give advice.

Still, I’ll opt to play genie here and wish all your choices work out as you’d want. Maybe just the wishing can help make it happen. One can only hope.

If Only Life Was a Hallmark Movie

Unless you live on Mars, you or someone you know is watching Hallmark Christmas movies right now.

Men, women it doesn’t seem to matter, Hallmark has cornered the market on mushy and sentimental movies. By adding some fake snow, they cornered the Christmas market as well.

No wonder Hallmark starts its Christmas season in July.

Talk about the commercialization of Christmas!

Yet no one seems to mind.

There are of course other channels that run those schmaltzy two-hour tear jerkers, but Hallmark leads in finding the formula viewers will buy.

And formula is the operative word here.

It doesn’t matter to viewers that they are watching the same movie dressed in a new costume every time. They simply rehash the script, add some new Hallmark players as leads and viola. A new movie yeah, but not really.

We are all if nothing else creatures of habit. Hallmark, after selling us those syrupy cards our whole lives, knows what schmaltz we will embrace. And, of course in every Hallmark movie the embrace or Hallmark kiss as I call it, happens, wait for it, only at the end. There is usually an interrupted kiss somewhere along the line.

There is a definite formula that is followed to the letter in each movie. You can set your watch by it. Boy meets girl or now boy meets boy or girl meets girl, they dislike one another, or they click, both versions are available and lead to the same place. They fall in love, they solve a problem which depending on the season could be a pumpkin patch, strawberry field or school play problem. At Christmas there is a Santa Claus with nothing to do in December but help out one of the Hallmark players. So he makes Lacey Chabert or Jen Lilly fall in love with another player like Andrew Walker or Paul Campbell until it all falls apart. There is always a snippet of a conversation overheard and misunderstood, or a secret that should have been disclosed earlier that leads to a break up.

But rest assured all ends happy and the lovers reunite. The world is bright and then the Hallmark kiss at the end seals the deal.

It ain’t Shakespeare, but it sure seems to work.

Perhaps that’s why it does after all. The very fact we can count on every movie to end happy, have a Santa Claus to interfere, (because after all Santa has nowhere else to be at Christmas time), is actually a comfort of sorts. And there’s always holiday baking, tree trimming and a snowball fight to keep things real.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Royal movies where a prince or princess from some country ending in “ovia” falls in love despite his or her mother being dead set against a commoner in her palace. But of course in the end all is forgiven and crowns are placed on Hallmark stars’ heads.

There is no tension, no nail biting, no fear something is going to jump out and kill someone. Even the mysteries are charming and innocent. A woman, it’s always a woman, takes time out from catering, baking or running her flower shop to track down a killer. There is always a handsome cop to help her so no worries.

Oh sure they have become more inclusive, there is even a Chanukah movie or two with unlimited Yiddish words thrown in for good measure to ensure every base is covered.

So if we’ve seen every movie a thousand times, why do we keep watching? I’d have to vote on the fact it is so predictable that makes it so watchable.

Hallmark has not reinvented the wheel here. The Hallmark players, as I call them, are exactly the same as the contract actors Hollywood collected in the forties and fifties.

Stars were always attached to a major studio until later when they went rogue and became independent agents. Until then they cranked out movies every month or so. Actors like Bogart, June Allyson, Peter Lawford, Elizabeth Taylor, Spencer Tracey and even Gable worked under contract to a major studio. An audience that attended an MGM musical could be certain Ann Miller would be tappy tapping alongside Bobby Van or Bob Fosse and Howard Keel would be belting out songs to leading ladies like Jane Powell or Katherine Grayson.

The familiarity and knowledge there would be no surprises brought audiences back again and again.

So is life like a Hallmark movie? No way and that’s why people watch them.

There is a kind of comfort in knowing that all will end well.

There are even humorous moments that seem to show up in certain Hallmark movies where actors kid one another and act like a family. It’s like the viewer is on the joke so we can laugh along.

Hallmark has latched onto a most seductive formula, certainty, escapism and optimism in an uncertain world.

And let’s not forget the pets. Dogs and cats are big in Hallmark world. Kittens and puppies populate the scene and nothing can lure you in faster than those adorable faces staring at you from a big screen. Lassie has come home on Hallmark.

Familiarity doesn’t breed contempt after all. It breeds viewers, sponsors and big bucks. I’d have to say no way is life like a Hallmark movie. That’s why we must rely on them to deliver us to a place where all is neatly wrapped up in a bow. Then deliver it all to us with a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine of reality go down easier.

Happy New Year everyone. I’m sure if you look you’ll find a Hallmark movie covering that holiday too.

It’s the Time of Year to Share Our Childhood Memories

This time of year is prone to dredge up memories of long ago tucked away in the recesses of one’s mind. I’m not quite certain it’s the holidays or perhaps that whole getting older and long-term memory that creates a sudden rush of childhood recollections.

I simply know that they are coming in droves.

Of course there is that desire to recapture earlier times spent with family and friends, laced with bittersweet emotions of loss and regret.

For myself living so far from my childhood home I find a lack of snow matters. No blanket of white feels as if an old friend that visited every season has deserted me in lieu of palm trees and blue skies.

Now believe me I’m not saying slipping and sliding along the streets in the cold and slush would be preferable, but there was something about falling snowflakes that just felt right.

I also seem focused on school around the holidays.

We strained at the bit to reach that last day before winter break when a teacher would dress up as Santa and pass out candy canes and Vernor’s Ginger Ale.

Our elementary school was named after James Vernor of the ginger ale company so they gifted us with their soda and candy canes each year.

Santa would be played by a teacher covered in a beard and of course we would whisper about who it might be as we waited in line for our treats.

Childhood seemed quite naïve and innocent so small moments were intensified and more special. We even believed hiding in the school basement under asbestos pipes would prevent an atom bomb from harming us. Silly, right?

Or that a wooden desk would hide us from a nuclear blast.  Either they didn’t know the truth or weren’t about to share it with all of us. Seems so foolish now.

Baby Boomers lived a life full of new discoveries. Television began small and black and white forcing us at times to strain to see the picture among snowy waves.

We used rabbit ear antennas on the television set covered with aluminum foil to enhance the signal as we moved them back and forth while our brother directed until the picture clarity was optimum.

Snowy or clear we rushed home to watch the Mickey Mouse Club and later American Bandstand. Our eyes transfixed on this new way to be entertained and transfixed.

I begged my mother to let me stay up and watch Milton Berle on Tuesday nights and still vividly remember the Texaco servicemen that started the show.

We had strange puppets like Rootie Kazootie and Howdy Doody with visible strings. We never minded or enjoyed them any less; in fact, being able to discern the strings was part of the fun. Every kid wanted to be part of the peanut gallery. Then, when a TV dinner on a metal tray table was added to the mix, it all seemed too perfect.

We even had party lines on the phone for a short time as the new technology was growing faster than the company could provide. Limiting use the phone to only certain times seems comical now when we can’t put it down for a minute.

Could you imagine kids today being told they had to share their phone with someone else? I believe it would lead to some violent revolution.

But to us it was a new magical instrument we were happy to have for any amount of time. A new way to broaden our horizons and communicate with friends.

There was no Google, only sets of Encyclopedias, no computers, only visits to the library branch nearest our homes.

We could spend a lazy summer afternoon reading and sharing comic books like Archie, Katy Keene or Superman with friends munching on snacks. Candy bars were two cents or a nickel and we drank cherry cokes or chocolate phosphates at soda counters served up by kids in white jackets and hats.

We played hopscotch, four square, jumped rope, played jacks and roller skated in metal skates with our key on a ribbon around our neck. Marbles clinked along the sidewalk and we traded movie star pictures cut out of fan magazines.

We ordered the scholastic books from school and couldn’t wait to read them when they arrived.

It seemed the smallest things were a big deal back then. Including rushing over to the first neighbor’s house on the block to own a color television.

Obviously, I’m waxing nostalgic about a time that is now gone forever. Our grandchildren are living in a new world filled with things we only read about in science fiction novels.

Technology that causes my eyes to glaze over as my kids or grandkids attempt to explain it to me.

Our children do battle to keep them innocent and away from the screens and kudos to them for doing so. Yet the world changes each day and new innovation is now moving at a faster pace than ever before.

I’m certain someday our grandchildren will look back on their childhoods with a sense of joy and wonder as we do, at least I hope so.

Was our innocence a good or bad trait? Were we blindsided a bit finding the future was often as scary as Orwell had predicted, or Flash Gordon was actually Neil Armstrong? Were we literally over the moon when man first landed there in front of our eyes?

Am I implying Baby Boomers don’t embrace this new world and its wonders? Heck no! We are all into it big time and enjoying the ride. It’s just nice to wax nostalgic at times and remember our innocence.

Each generation will experience new and uncharted roads to travel. I hope wonder and peace will continue to be a part of their journey. I know it was ours. As much as things change one thing never does…the smell of a turkey roasting in the oven on Thanksgiving. We can all be thankful for that.

Please share your memories with me, I’d love to hear them.