Tag: robin

I’m a Superhero! Guess Who.

Why Do Superheroes Wear Masks?

Proving how bored I was the other day, I actually spent time pondering why heroes need a mask.

I can definitely see the benefit of a bad guy covering up to hide from his crimes, but why would the Lone Ranger have to wear a mask? Wouldn’t that be taking humility a bit too far? And couldn’t someone follow him and check out where he lived to see his real identity? Duh.

And let’s get real here… Superman and those Clark Kent glasses? Really? Gee what a great disguise. I’d never be able to tell it was him. How stupid were the people who worked at the Daily Planet anyway? Wouldn’t the voice give it away even if they were too dumb to recognize him? And why didn’t Lois Lane have the hots for Clark Kent? Did the glasses turn her off? I mean he did look smarter with the glasses.

Zorro wore a mask, Batman, okay every superhero almost. Except the Incredible Hulk. But seriously how many gigantic green guys are there anyway? I’m just guessing here, but I don’t think a mask would hide Hulk’s identity.

The kind of confusing thing about the hero stuff and mask wearing wasn’t lost on me.

Why didn’t Roy Rogers were a mask?

He was a good guy who caught the bad guys? Most cowboy good guys and sheriffs didn’t see the need to cover their faces. In fact I think they wanted the bad guys to know who they were.

When Jim Arness walked into Miss Kitty’s bar I think he wanted to make a statement. Like “I’m here so don’t even think about it. And don’t make me call Chester.”

I do realize that many heroes wore not only a mask, but also a costume.

How did they have time to change so fast when the bad guy was doing his worst?

Like Bruce Wayne is in the Batcave just chugging some expensive wine. Oops! There goes the Bat signal mid sip. But he’s in his Saville Road suit. So he has to run into the bedroom, change into that elastic batsuit. By the way have you ever tried to put on Spanx? It takes a while. Then he runs out to the Bat garage. Calls Robin to get his ass in gear and the two of them jump into the Batmobile and arrive just in time to find out the bad guys left twenty minutes before.

Timing a little off there spandex guy?

So why do Superheroes have to hide from the world?

Isn’t it good to show yourself and be forthright about the good deeds you do?

Perhaps it has something to do with the meaning of true charity being done in secret. But is being a superhero charity?

Actually, kind of silly to wear a disguise if it isn’t even partly adequate when we all knew Clark was Superman, and Zorro Don Diego de la Vega. And how obvious was it for heaven’s sake if you saw some guy and an Indian companion with no mask, DUH? How’s that working for you? “Hi Tonto, who’s your friend on the white horse?”

Of course, the costumes do work for some. Would be hard to recognize Tony Stark in that tin can. Or figure out who was hiding inside that Spidey get up or those Black Panther duds.

Yet I still can’t think of any really good reason why these heroes need masks. Were they afraid someone would sneak up in the night and hurt them?

Seriously, if someone surprised Superman could they actually do some damage? What are we, stupid?

Wouldn’t it be smarter to advertise you’re a hero? That way people would see you and say, “Oops, better not blow up that building right now. Batman is idling in his Batmobile over there.”

Let’s be honest, being a superhero is cool. I’m sure you get the best tables in restaurants and even when the place is full you could just drop your name and they’d find room. And not next to the kitchen either.

If you risk your life, shouldn’t some perks come along with that? You should even be able to cut in line at Starbuck’s. Okay, right, there may be some pushback there.

Being a superhero can’t be easy. The cleaning bill on your costume must be astronomical.

Superman’s costume was indestructible. I don’t think the corner cleaners can just throw that in the drum with Aunt Sophie’s party dress.

I imagine the whole question is pretty much one of those forced-to-admit-heroes-wear-masks-but-damned-if-I-know-why moments.

I get that this is definitely not one those mysteries of the world that the Sphinx need tackle. Yet it does point to all the silly stuff we confront each day that makes us scratch our heads in wonder.

Like why vegetables have no calories and chocolate eclairs are fattening? My answer…God must be a man cause no woman would sign off on that one.

So until someone can answer the question of why masks are required accessories for a Superhero wardrobe, I’ll keep it on my what’s-up-with-that  list.

According to ichat this is why the masks. Superheroes wear masks primarily to protect their secret identities, ensuring the safety of their loved ones from retaliation. Beyond security, masks create an aura of mystery, establish a unique persona, and symbolize a shift from a normal life to a heroic role, often adopted after a traumatic or defining moment.  

It all sounds very reasonable to me. But that kind of goes against the whole Clark Kent glasses thing I’d say.

Honestly Superman, you seriously need to commit to the whole mask thing. I mean this half in half out bit, not cool.

If I were a superhero I’d wear tons of make-up, get plastic surgery regularly, eat like a pig and then Ozempic myself back to normal.

Oh wait, everyone is doing that now. Perhaps Superheroes are just being honest and open when they wear a mask. After all, don’t all of us wear a mask at times? Actually, sometimes many masks that change with the moment. Is covering one’s face just protection from the world? No matter how brave, we all need to hide away sometimes.

You have to admit Superheroes do their hiding with a lot of style. And that spandex is darn flattering.  Maybe a cool Spanx costume to cover the entire body? Hey, just thinking out loud here. 

Birds Don’t Sing in Beverly Hills

The first sign of spring for most people in America is Robin Red Breast. Hearing his little tweets and songs make one feel the cold and darkness of winter is past and one can look forward to a warm spring and fun summer.

In my area of Beverly Hills one receives no such hope for the birth of the coming seasons. I’m not quite sure why it’s the case but it’s rare I’ve been hearing birds singing at all. Yes, I know you all think I’m going deaf.

However, that is not the case for while watching the Masters Tournament at Augusta the other day, I was taken by how vibrant the birds’ songs were when everyone quieted down to let the golfers take a shot. Yes, I heard the birds chirping and cheering on their favorite golfers loud and clear.

Even with a preponderance of trees everywhere in Beverly Hills it seems that the bird population chooses to remain closed mouth and simply exist on the down low. Why?

I of course have no scientific reasons to offer for this occurrence, but of course I have some suspicions about why the little winged and usually vocal creatures choose silence in this high-profile town.

First, I’d have to guess it is a result of their inability to sing for long periods of time and ingest the pollution. After a few coughs I’d imagine most would simply give up and stay silent.

Second it might be the fact they haven’t been able to secure an agent and it is for this reason they choose not to use their talents without any compensation. A bird deserves a worm or two for their efforts. And I assure you Beverly Hills is crawling with them. Worms I mean.

Third is the fact that perhaps because so few birds choose to sing, there is no peer pressure to do so. I mean if everyone is doing it than the other birds might feel left out by not joining in. It seems quiet breeds quiet and the lack of tweeting is not such a surprise after all.

Fourth I believe it’s possible the bird population here may be the most depressed in America. I only say this because if the vibe all around them is human beings walking around like zombies touting positive thinking and then hurrying off to their therapist, it could contribute to the negative, insecure vibes the birds are feeling.

Fifth may be that it’s difficult to be heard above the sirens horns honking and yelling obscenities out car windows one witnesses each day. This is not lost on the birds. It’s possible at one point they sought to sing but couldn’t raise their voices above the craziness going on below.

Sixth, maybe like so many others in this state most of the birds have left for Florida because it’s far too expensive to live here. Perhaps all the craziness entailed living in this insane asylum with palm trees has finally caused them to reach their breaking point. Then of course squatters may have inhabited their nests when they returned and they’re all in court trying to get their little homes back. Or could it be they are simply spending the day shopping?

As someone who always loved hearing birds sing, I find it a bit depressing to face the silence.

There was once a book by Rachel Carson called Silent Spring in which she warned of impending environmental issues.

Could we have reached the point that the birds are thus affected?

I don’t think so because my friends in Michigan claim there is a great deal of happy twilling from the birds there right now. And I do miss that.

So I suppose we must return to California. I can only speak for Beverly Hills, but I must say it is a quiet Spring around here.

Beverly Hills birds although we received an abundance of rain this year seem as yet unsatisfied with the bounty nature provided.

Everyone but me it seems held the attitude there was too much rain.

I however disagree wholeheartedly. Coming from Michigan where Spring and summer sported the colors of OZ with vibrant greens and colorful flowers everywhere, it has been a culture shock for me to see the brownish hue of the trees here.

The little bit of water they usually receive is not nearly enough to serve up lush gorgeous hues, but instead brownish dry looking semi green colors.

This year however after all the rain I’m finally seeing true rich, dark leaves brimming with life and vibrancy.

So I’ll side with nature on this issue and too bad for those who were inconvenienced by the rain.

I’ve tried calling to the birds and explaining my desire to hear their songs, but only a few even responded to my pleas.

It just doesn’t seem right to be sitting outdoors and hear nothing but cars and sirens without the melodic tweet of a nearby bird.

If I am disappointed, and perhaps even making too much of the lack of music available from our feathered friends, please forgive me. I imagine you could get an app for your phone of birdsongs. Not the same. Like buying a candle to get your favorite scent and realize they all smell like cheap perfume.

Living in Michigan we were blessed with four seasons. And each one was highly anticipated.

Still after a hard winter, and it seems they were colder and harder when I was a child, we eagerly awaited spring.

The end of cold snowy days and no more dark gloomy overcast mornings. Now one could look forward to sunshine, tulips and of course robins and their friends singing a chorus of beautiful melodies. Their songs announced that yes, once again Spring has come and the beauty of color and light reappears. They were not only the bearer of songs, but proof of rebirth, new hope and life continuing after winter’s darkness.

So now when I do occasionally hear that courageous little song bird here in Beverly Hills, chirping its little heart out to announce, “Hey everyone it’s Spring,” I stop, listen and hold their song inside my heart until I am once again blessed to hear another.