Tag: reading

Growing a Great Life in the Golden Years

The golden years are a conundrum. It seems the irony  is palpable.

Finally, at a point in life when you have all the time in the world to do as you wish, go where you please and live as you choose, you have far less inclination to do any of it.

The older one becomes, the lower their standards and expectations become.

When someone asks how I am, I have a pat answer, “I woke up on the right side of the grass this morning, so it’s a glorious day.”

Now there was a time this answer would not have been my response to that question.

This isn’t a value judgement in any way, but when young we maintain certain beliefs about how we should live. When these plans don’t always come to fruition, we are disappointed. We become determined to rectify that situation and make expectation become reality.

As we live our life consumed with a busy schedule filled with dreams to pursue, children to raise or businesses to build, we find settling unacceptable.   

Now I’m not saying that young people complain. That is not the case at all. I’m merely pointing out that living when one is expectant and busy is a far different reality from life in the golden years.

I have also noticed that a great deal of what one can anticipate from life is determined genetically.

Yes, I know that countless authorities have spoken and continue to speak about how we can control how we age. I agree to a degree that is very true.

Eating healthy, exercise and attitude is of course a vital component in the process.

Yet, in some ways many find aging well is dependent on other factors, some of which are not under our control.

Certain health factors have a genetic component and although there are new meds and cures that didn’t previously exist there is no cure for everything.

So, is it true many seniors are beginning to shun away from the constant tumult they felt was mandatory for a productive life?

Is it okay in lieu of attending a luncheon sitting with women you barely know, to stay home and invent a recipe you’ve been contemplating for ages?

Or not driving at night to the theatre to see a play when you have ten streaming channels filled with movies, documentaries and old sitcoms to entertain you?

People are constantly telling me after getting up, getting dressed, putting on make-up and driving miles to go somewhere, they need a day of recuperation.

I truly envy my friends that can still swat a pickleball, run out to lunch or work and feel no need to slow down.

Are they the majority or a small minority? No idea.

Perhaps perfection exists in individuality.  

As long as one is able to move about freely, there is no reason not to enjoy freedom.

Many seniors still travel a great deal and cruises are a great compromise.

Although I have a friend that cruises and claims some of these new ships are the size of a small city. Despite the menus overflowing with calories, he always loses weight from all the walking.

A good thing I suppose, but it can also be exhausting.

Is running all over actually stress inducing and tiring for many?

I believe it can be. Many enjoy being home, cooking, gardening, watching movies, engaging in a hobby they’ve never previously had the time for.

So many women enjoy playing cards or maj jong. Many men golf, hike and still bowl.

Is the fact many of the things we enjoy are home based a negative? Does cutting ourselves off more actually cut into our life span?

The world seriously had an aha moment when 2020 brought a whole new way of living. COVID removed our ability to wander about freely. After a time families formed “pods” visiting among themselves, but being forced into hibernation certainly was a game changer.

One of the things I and many others discovered was that staying at home wasn’t as horrible as we’d anticipated.

Instead of becoming a prison- like existence, it was almost liberating.

People began rediscovering many of the hobbies, interests, and fun activities they’d long ago forgone.

So many rediscovered or learned to cook. Streaming was a “thing” and everyone chatted about the latest “hot” shows on Netflix or other streamers.

Jigsaw puzzles arrived regularly from Amazon and Face Time and Zoom opened new worlds of engagement.

Once people began venturing out, many decided spending more time at home was a new option worth exploring.

Reading, painting and many other activities had morphed into enjoyable ways of spending a day. One’s own company was now welcome and acceptable. Yes, during COVID at times there was a sense of forced loneliness, but new options now created avenues for self-exploration and fulfillment.

So, which is a healthier lifestyle, in or out?

I’m guessing it’s up to the individual what they feel comfortable with and can handle.

It also may come down to what we’ve always been taught, moderation is the key to everything. A bit of this and a tad of that creates variety and balance.

Whatever one decides to do, it’s important we remain grateful for having time as we age. If at the end of a day you’ve enjoyed the journey through it, it sounds all good to me. P.S. check out the movie, The Penguin Lessons on Netflix. I think it’s an extremely enjoyable way to spend some of that time.

Now Where’s That Damn Rabbit Hole Again?

Now Where’s That Damn Rabbit Hole Again?

I honestly don’t believe it would surprise anyone who knows me to learn that Alice in Wonderland was my favorite story as a child.

And why not? It was filled with bunnies, a confused girl, an evil queen, fresh tarts, adorable Cheshire cats that talked and blew smoke rings in the shapes of letters and of course the perennial favorites Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum. I understood twins because my mother was one.

Of course, the fact there was a tea party and a table set with goodies didn’t hurt its cause any.

So there in a nutshell is why it contained all my favorite things; cute bunnies, great jewelry like pocket watches, evil queens with colorful red hearts, precious pussycats and weird twins. Lest we forget most importantly yummy food! 

Yet there was far more to Alice than met the eye and to say it was a children’s story would be a serious understatement. 

Today more than ever I identify with Alice. Lewis Carroll’s character is the epitome of a human being in today’s crazy, confusing world, only we didn’t have to fall down a hole to wind up in a land filled with fantastical characters. We were just born here.

Lest you think I am stretching the truth a bit, one simply need look around at the upside-down world in which we now exist and open one’s eyes to see how far into some perverted wonderland we’ve fallen.

Alice is the typical American who has awakened to find herself in another country. She is a much older Alice than was written by Carroll because it is a Baby Boomer story after all. A fable of sorts about a generation that no longer recognizes the world into which they were born.

I know what you’re thinking, and I’m very aware of the old adage about we are all born into one world and leave from another. I simply have a difficult time believing the world in which we now exist is in any way even related to the one we came crying and fussing into.

It hardly bears a resemblance to the America we loved. Where we stood happily and proudly each day to say the pledge of allegiance. 

Where we walked to and from school with our friends, never worrying about who might be following us home, night or day.

Where we played outside until the street lights came on and where ice cream trucks ringing bells were the highlight of our day.

Where we shopped in a store and actually paid for the merchandise before leaving.

Where we could sleep well at night with full knowledge bad people would be put away so they couldn’t hurt us anymore.

A world filled with wonders like television and then a peacock that spread his feathers and gave us color.

A world where Disney was asleep and gave us Mouseketeers and wonderful cartoon fairy tales and even Bambi that turned us all off hunting for life.

Where we talked to our friends face to face or on the phone and didn’t have to read what they had to tell us.

Where our mothers cooked dinner and our fathers came home from work and we sat around the dinner table as a family discussing what we’d done that day. No question we carefully edited our discussion to include only our best grades and fun activities. And no I am not saying that women didn’t work, many did and that was fine with us.

A world that included blow up pools, but if you were really lucky an above the ground one that you needed a ladder to climb into.

We sat in front of the fan on hot summer nights before central air conditioning or in front of the window screen in our bedroom to catch a breeze wafting by. 

We watched horror movies like I Was a Teenage Werewolf and then had to sleep in our parents’ bedrooms to alleviate our fears.

We felt safe, happy and chose our friends because they lived nearby and we liked them.

This is no longer America. I know what you’re going to say…times change. Kids today will have their own memories.

I say it’s not the same.

Today kids stay up nights worrying about global warming.

Little girls don’t want to grow to be mothers because they no longer want to bring children into this world.

An America where more kids are confused about who or what they are than the entire population of New York City.

A world where you can’t walk down city streets without stepping on people, or worse, and even in your own back yard you’re no longer safe from predators.

Whose fault is it that the world has changed so much and not for the better?

Perhaps it’s the Baby Boomers. Or am I just too willing to accept guilt even if undeserved?

Were we too certain that the gravy train would ride forever?

That Dick Clark would always be at the Bandstand and John Kennedy would someday return in the form of John Jr.

Our hopes were dashed with the realities that seemed to set in every day as we went about our business, raising our children, shopping and wondering what to do with our lives in our golden years.

We attended weddings, graduations and funerals. Lots of funerals. And buried lots of family and friends we love and miss.

There are those who would disagree with my ramblings and memories of a time gone by. They would even emphasize how much better off we are now with modern science and new innovations.

There is no doubt being bionic is a boon to seniors, but I’m not convinced the price we’ve paid as a nation justifies the Internet or AI.

Yes, there are definitely some good things about this new-fangled-high-tech world, but it seems to me that the more high-tech the world becomes, the more it reverts to its primitive self. That instead of using these innovations to grow as people, we use them to return to the caves to carry out petty wars and pathetic tribal rivalries.

So what good is a world filled with innovation accompanied by low intelligence? Is it possible to march forward on one level and rush backward on another?

I’m not quite certain human beings are capable of handling the modern world that was foisted upon them and it’s leading instead to a caveman mentality. Like handing a toddler an UZI and not expecting him to pull the trigger.

Have we all fallen down a hole without the benefit of cute little rabbits, tea parties and delicious cakes?

Speaking for myself I’d rather join Alice and the March Hare and use his watch to turn back time to a gentler, kinder America. 

Yes, I’m remembering it with rose-colored glasses, but I defy anyone to watch the news and not want to turn the channel and believe none of the insanity is actually happening.

Now where is that rabbit hole again?