Tag: Lacy Chabert

Cruising with Hallmark

Okay so the news is pretty bad. If only the solution to all the crazy were simply just not watching. Sadly, as tempting as that would is, it really only offers a temporary fix. Whether or not we watch, it’s still happening.

Like closing the curtains against the rain. Still raining.

Although I often feel conflicted about knowing what’s going on out there, I do admit there is nothing that can uplift me more than simply remaining in the dark about all the insanity.

Perhaps what I understand better than ever nowadays, is that ignorance truly is bliss.

That seeking to undo the funkiness of life is noble and healthy.

Speaking of people who know how to hide the crazy, I’d say the Hallmark Channel has cornered the market on escape.

Yes, they are my new heroes. I don’t know when or who came up with the idea that pure escapism equals viewers and lots of money, but I’m sure they’re being compensated well.

As if the movies, streaming channel and other marketing isn’t enough, Hallmark now has the Christmas cruises. Kudos when so many have turned to ecards to send greetings, but I have a friend that practically keeps them in business. She sends snail mail cards if it’s raining outside to cheer you up.

An extension of their Christmas in July movie marathon, this is pure genius.

They are also airing the coverage of the cruise.

These guys are masterminds at marketing and sending a message.

Seriously, if you’ve ever wondered who goes on these cruises, Hallmark answers all your questions.

The interviews with some of the guests serves two important functions.

First, it highlights the gushing adoration the fans have for the, as I named them, “The Hallmark Players.” The excitement and selfies when fan and star meet creates magic. These people truly love these actors. They are invested in their roles, their lives and their personas.

Second it also highlights many of the struggles and challenges these people have overcome in their lives to arrive in a state of joy, cruising and meeting their favs. Very inspirational.

And Hallmark knows how to get the most out of inspiration and an idea.

There was a surprise wedding planned by Andrew Walker and Paul Campbell. Women propositioning Tyler Hynes. A young boy searching the ship for his grandmothers who bought him the cruise for his 16th birthday.

Lots of hugging, screaming and actors doing what they love best. Being adored.

So what is the enormous appeal of Hallmark? I’ve covered this before but it seems that they are constantly morphing into more.

It’s beyond just finding a great niche and milking it for all it’s worth.

It’s not about the movies being academy award-winning caliber. Or some of the acting at times being, well to put it kindly a bit pedestrian.

But perhaps it’s exactly for those reasons it all works so well.

There is definitely something to be said for predictability in a world fraught with incredible craziness.

Hallmark movies are not just formula, they are exact. Precise to a fault. One can set their watch by the time in the script the lead actors break up.

Of course, there is never any potential for a sad ending. That wouldn’t do for the millions who have come to expect an uplifting and happy moment when the Hallmark kiss is delivered at movie’s end.

There is also a feeling that the affection between certain actors is genuine. Even if they are not romantically linked off screen, it’s made clear they are good friends.

There is an easiness to their performance that isn’t forced and certain couples click well. Paul Campbell and Kimberly Sustad, who also write together, Lacy Chabert and Brennan Elliott, Andrew Walker and Nikki DeLoach, Alison Sweeney and Victor Webster and Erin Krakow and Daniel Lissing.  Tyler Hynes and everyone.

There is also a certainty that watching it with your children will never be awkward or embarrassing. Family values are top priorities. One does get a sense the Hallmark Players are a true family and they enhance this theme.

Even the secondary actors or supporting players like Barbara Niven, Brenda Crichlow, Bruce Boxleitner, Gregory Harrison and many others are predictable. Seeing the same faces also adds that familiarity and comfort to the mix.

Hallmark has made the old movie studio stable of actors system new again. Minus the Louis B. Mayers of course.

Marketing Christmas in July is so smart even the shopping networks do it now. The plot will always include, baking, wrapping gifts decorating the tree and wearing an ugly Christmas sweater.

Let’s face it watching a Hallmark Movie at Christmas or any time is like visiting an old friend for dinner. The recipes may not be trendy and exciting, but they definitely take you back to simpler times.

You know the people and the food prepared will be something you enjoy. At the end of the evening you’ll feel at ease kicking off your shoes and plopping onto the couch in front of the fire. Of course, there will be cocoa with a peppermint stick and whipped cream.

It’s cozy, Christmas, and now even Chanukah makes an appearance for a movie. Hint: a Christmas movie populated with Chanukah decorations.

If you’re wondering, no, I don’t work for Hallmark or do their PR.

I guess I just appreciate that in a world so chaotic it’s still possible to escape to a time when the world was slower, more colorful and decorated.

To be reminded that we all share the challenges and trials of existence on this giant space rock and it is possible to overcome and thrive.

And yes, the predictability and lack of surprise can get old and tired at times. Still there is comfort in knowing when you need it, Hallmark will provide.

So if a movie or a cruise reminds us that flowers can still bloom after a terrible rainstorm, I’m all in.

And if there are lots of puppies, kitties, roaring fireplaces and colorful decorations thrown in, just tell me when to show up. I’ll even wear an ugly Christmas or Chanukah sweater for the occasion.  

If Only Life Was a Hallmark Movie

Unless you live on Mars, you or someone you know is watching Hallmark Christmas movies right now.

Men, women it doesn’t seem to matter, Hallmark has cornered the market on mushy and sentimental movies. By adding some fake snow, they cornered the Christmas market as well.

No wonder Hallmark starts its Christmas season in July.

Talk about the commercialization of Christmas!

Yet no one seems to mind.

There are of course other channels that run those schmaltzy two-hour tear jerkers, but Hallmark leads in finding the formula viewers will buy.

And formula is the operative word here.

It doesn’t matter to viewers that they are watching the same movie dressed in a new costume every time. They simply rehash the script, add some new Hallmark players as leads and viola. A new movie yeah, but not really.

We are all if nothing else creatures of habit. Hallmark, after selling us those syrupy cards our whole lives, knows what schmaltz we will embrace. And, of course in every Hallmark movie the embrace or Hallmark kiss as I call it, happens, wait for it, only at the end. There is usually an interrupted kiss somewhere along the line.

There is a definite formula that is followed to the letter in each movie. You can set your watch by it. Boy meets girl or now boy meets boy or girl meets girl, they dislike one another, or they click, both versions are available and lead to the same place. They fall in love, they solve a problem which depending on the season could be a pumpkin patch, strawberry field or school play problem. At Christmas there is a Santa Claus with nothing to do in December but help out one of the Hallmark players. So he makes Lacey Chabert or Jen Lilly fall in love with another player like Andrew Walker or Paul Campbell until it all falls apart. There is always a snippet of a conversation overheard and misunderstood, or a secret that should have been disclosed earlier that leads to a break up.

But rest assured all ends happy and the lovers reunite. The world is bright and then the Hallmark kiss at the end seals the deal.

It ain’t Shakespeare, but it sure seems to work.

Perhaps that’s why it does after all. The very fact we can count on every movie to end happy, have a Santa Claus to interfere, (because after all Santa has nowhere else to be at Christmas time), is actually a comfort of sorts. And there’s always holiday baking, tree trimming and a snowball fight to keep things real.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the Royal movies where a prince or princess from some country ending in “ovia” falls in love despite his or her mother being dead set against a commoner in her palace. But of course in the end all is forgiven and crowns are placed on Hallmark stars’ heads.

There is no tension, no nail biting, no fear something is going to jump out and kill someone. Even the mysteries are charming and innocent. A woman, it’s always a woman, takes time out from catering, baking or running her flower shop to track down a killer. There is always a handsome cop to help her so no worries.

Oh sure they have become more inclusive, there is even a Chanukah movie or two with unlimited Yiddish words thrown in for good measure to ensure every base is covered.

So if we’ve seen every movie a thousand times, why do we keep watching? I’d have to vote on the fact it is so predictable that makes it so watchable.

Hallmark has not reinvented the wheel here. The Hallmark players, as I call them, are exactly the same as the contract actors Hollywood collected in the forties and fifties.

Stars were always attached to a major studio until later when they went rogue and became independent agents. Until then they cranked out movies every month or so. Actors like Bogart, June Allyson, Peter Lawford, Elizabeth Taylor, Spencer Tracey and even Gable worked under contract to a major studio. An audience that attended an MGM musical could be certain Ann Miller would be tappy tapping alongside Bobby Van or Bob Fosse and Howard Keel would be belting out songs to leading ladies like Jane Powell or Katherine Grayson.

The familiarity and knowledge there would be no surprises brought audiences back again and again.

So is life like a Hallmark movie? No way and that’s why people watch them.

There is a kind of comfort in knowing that all will end well.

There are even humorous moments that seem to show up in certain Hallmark movies where actors kid one another and act like a family. It’s like the viewer is on the joke so we can laugh along.

Hallmark has latched onto a most seductive formula, certainty, escapism and optimism in an uncertain world.

And let’s not forget the pets. Dogs and cats are big in Hallmark world. Kittens and puppies populate the scene and nothing can lure you in faster than those adorable faces staring at you from a big screen. Lassie has come home on Hallmark.

Familiarity doesn’t breed contempt after all. It breeds viewers, sponsors and big bucks. I’d have to say no way is life like a Hallmark movie. That’s why we must rely on them to deliver us to a place where all is neatly wrapped up in a bow. Then deliver it all to us with a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine of reality go down easier.

Happy New Year everyone. I’m sure if you look you’ll find a Hallmark movie covering that holiday too.