Tag: Japan

Baby Boomer Adventureland is Disney’s Scariest Theme Park

Ask any family and they will tell you the cost of a day at Disneyland is equal to a year’s salary in 1953.

The price of admission, food, souvenirs and little two-inch plastic oranges filled with two ounces of juice are a joke.

Despite the outrageous prices the lines are as long as a politician’s list of broken promises, so what’s the reality here?

Food, rent and everything seems to be moving on up; much like the Jeffersons. Yet despite prices, for some uncanny reason Disneyland keeps filling up the park.

I however have discovered a secret way to enjoy rides for free. Yep, free, and all you have to do is get older.

At a certain age, and I can’t say for a fact which, but it was definitely after 70. I received a golden ticket to a special section of Disney’s park. Not merely a senior discount, but a place catering to Baby Boomers and older.

Yep, like Charlie in Wonkaville I was granted access to any ride at Adventureland for free.

I suddenly could explore and enjoy rides with others I’d once only enjoyed at home.

And what a scary and exciting selection of rides. All so familiar and abundant among seniors. Now they could be shared in a park that included screaming every time the roller coaster dipped and swerved. The rides so real you’d swear you’d experienced them numerous times before.

One particular ride the “what the hell is this bruise mountain?” was so memorable. That’s when you awake to some mystery patch of black and blue you definitely didn’t have the night before. This ride could last for weeks until it either disappears or you have to go on another adventure and seek medical attention. No, you can’t always count on Dr. Google for a diagnosis.

The ride I seem to wind up on most is the “Ouch I can’t get out of bed because my back hurts,” roller coaster. It’s a twist and turn adventure as you attempt to find a body position with the least amount of pain.

I’ve frequently ridden, “what the hell did I just trip over?” mountain and the “incredible shrinking grandparent” guided tour.  

Of course, for the more fearless there is the “how did I wind up here on the floor whodunnit?”

For the less brave there are easier rides like the, “does anyone but me hear the phone ringing?” race. Or the “what did I walk into this room to get guessing game?” Don’t even think of missing the “Oops I lost my balance but caught myself in time,” tournament. Or the ever popular “where did I park my car?” ride along. The “what the hell did I do yesterday?” wonder ride is a must.   

People wait in line for many minutes to enjoy the “why can’t I turn my neck?” contest. Or the crowded “how long does it take to get up from a chair?” challenge. Few miss the “where’s all my hair?’ escape room romp.  

I never miss the “how many times can you ride the elevator without getting nauseous?” event.

Everyone takes a crack at the “has anyone seen my keys?” coaster. The “what doctor am I seeing today?” mystery ride, and the always crowded “try to remember their name walkabout.” No one misses the “talk louder I can’t hear you,” play-offs.   

Because Senior Adventureland is geared toward Baby Boomers the food selection is also very specific. Many relish the food at the “It Looks Like Spare Ribs Café,” that specializes in molding mashed potatoes into spare rib and steak shapes.

Some simply rave about their best seller; the faux spicy chili con carne bowl made from peas and carrots.

Instead of peppermints at the front when you leave there are Tums in metallic wrappers.

There is non-dairy ice cream in cones made of saltine crackers and pizza on a gluten free crust with non-acidic tomato sauce and fake cheese.

Every parking space in the lot is handicapped and practically everyone enjoys the use of a free scooter.

There are also booths in every section of the park with doctors offering free medical advice and people handing out early bird coupons for all restaurants in the area.

Every hour on the hour a Maj Jong tournament is featured and visitors may bet on the outcome. For others golf courses with par ten holes are available.

You can also enjoy a restful respite in the “swing in a hammock” getaway, where cat napping is always allowed.

Who says aging isn’t a blast? It’s an amusement park filled with a cornucopia of challenging adventures as one schleps through their day. So many new experiences jump up to greet you like a tsunami in Japan or a tornado in Kansas.

Maybe it’s karma? How many times did we all yell for our parents to hurry as we sat in the car with the motor running? Or wondered why they were always forgetting things?

No one ever told us they were already in their own Disneyland of fun adventures and guess what? Now we’re riding all the rides ourselves. I’m sorry, what was I saying? I know I had a funny last line, but I don’t remember what it was. Oh well, have fun and don’t miss the ten-par golf. I shot my best game there; at least I think I did.

9/11: Is it Just Another Bad Memory?

9/11: Is it Just Another Bad Memory?

Life is about mixed messaging. Today, remembering the terrible attack in New York, The Pentagon and Flight 93, the visuals return with every bit of their gruesome horror. Then as we humans have been instructed, they fade once more and are filed away into the back of our minds. Only the loved ones of the victims hold the pain closely with no reprieve.

If there is one truth it’s that evil has no politics, color or creed. Oh, of course many try to equate them, but it’s impossible because evil is found in every political party and in every corner of the planet. It’s an entity onto itself and exists solely within the heart and mind of man. It’s true however that it can be spread like a black river of oil unto a fertile plain or in an ocean among the innocent sea life fatally exposed.

Yet, if we Americans are so affected by evil events like 9/11, Pearl Harbor, the Holocaust, is it productive to sweep them aside until they are marked on a calendar each year?

Can we learn if we’re encouraged to forget? Can evil ever be eradicated if we allow it to fester and thrive as part of history?

We’re taught to live in the present and see those who live in the past encumbering their ability to live a happy life. Yet, the message is startlingly ambiguous when it’s only by remembering the lessons we can forge ahead wiser.

So which is it, recall or move forward?

What is the proper amount of bad memories to dredge up and when does that number cross the line into mental instability?

Pearl Harbor hasn’t been forgotten, yet the enemy that attacked us is now our friend. We no longer cast aspersions on Japan or its people, nor should we, yet the lessons of World War II seem long forgotten. Because the Japanese people are now considered allies does that mean Nazis are as well and we should be electing them to Congress?

Today in the United States Congress Representative James Clayburn of North Carolina, a member of the Congressional Black Caucus, demeaned Jewish Holocaust survivors to defend the hateful remarks of one of his America hating, anti-Semitic colleagues, Ilhan Omar.

So are we now to assume that every one who cast a vote for this horrible man or for her abhors Jewish people? I wouldn’t like to think that true, yet why is someone who castigates survivors serving in a country that fought a war to destroy a regime determined to kill all those whom their leaders deemed less worthy to breathe the same air?

Should hate spreaders be allowed to serve in our Congress among those that lost relatives at the hand of evil without censure or a day of reckoning? Their loathing has been exposed on numerous other occasions, yet they are not held accountable for their hate speech. America cannot condone such behavior and elect haters still we continue to do so.

Yes, free speech is the cornerstone of our democracy and without it there is fascism, but should we be electing evil spreaders to make our laws and lead our country? Intolerance is intolerable and yet we foster and nurture it in our own government.

So where do we live? In the past, present or future and which will allow us to improve life by learning from the lessons that cost us so dearly?

If it is healthier to evolve from the past is it also healthy to move on from the memory of foul deeds and events?

I’m mystified by the amount of maliciousness I witness on a daily basis and how perfectly acceptable it has become to overtly express these feelings, no matter how despicable.

The world accepts too easily what it hears and finds it easier to believe what they are told then to fight back. Because evil is proactive and good is reactive the scales are weighted in favor of the aggressor.

The simple truth is that we do indeed forget, because we are trained to do so. Live in the present is the chosen mantra.

Israel and many countries in the Middle East have just entered into a peace deal that will change that area if not the entire world.

Former enemies will now be friends and free to travel, trade and break bread together.

So what lesson must we learn from these shifting world dynamics?

I laugh at the simplicity of my own answer; to err is human to forgive divine.

Yet forgiveness does not mean forgetting. No, we cannot remember everything, but even if relegated to the past they must continue to strengthen our moral code.

If we forget the deaths and lessons of the wars we fought then we’ll be doomed to reelect politicians who espouse divisiveness. If we forget we must be vigilant when dealing with those who’ve proven to exercise evil deeds with no remorse, then we’re doomed to repeat mistakes and be vulnerable to malice.

If a government becomes so indifferent to the vindictive speech and deeds advocated by their leadership then unfortunately we have many examples of the outcome of such folly and its effect on humanity.

One comment should be enough to engage our outrage and battle against darkness. When someone shows you who they are, believe them or suffer the consequences. Can there ever be enough history to accomplish this end?

Yes, life is filled with mixed messages and from where I sit now I’m dubious. However, we must retain hope if we are all to survive and once again remember or even sadly, forget.

Yes, life is filled with mixed messages and from where I sit now I’m dubious. However, we must retain hope if we are all to survive and once again remember or even sadly, forget.