Tag: human condition

Could Anything Be More Annoying?

We hear a great deal lately about how much we all have in common. How human beings are so alike and have common interests and Kumbaya blah blah blah.

I’m here to tell you that is so not the point.

It’s not about how alike we are as people, cause actually we’re not the same really.

Biologically and basic human needs, sure. But there are many different religions and most have their own tenets.

We like different climates, foods, TV shows, Housewife franchises, ways of dressing and so many more opinions and beliefs that separate us.

By the way, that’s okay! Vive la Difference!

I believe diversity is what makes us all so interesting. What a boring world this would be if we all loved pizza. Wait, I think we do.  But you get the point.

Despite our disparities there are certain things we all agree on that unite us.

Stuff that drives everyone nuts and makes us want to scream, curse and tear our hair out. The incredibly annoying things that we all agree on without any arguments, bad feelings or calling one another names.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you some of the most common despicable irritations on the planet.

I begin with the fitted sheet. Who in the hell thought this monster up? Talk about a good idea going wrong. I burn more calories when I change a sheet than walking on the treadmill. Before you have successfully gotten the damn thing on straight you have usually sprained a finger, broken a nail or wrenched your back. And why does it keep flapping up from the corner?

No matter how large they make them, they always find a way to get smaller until they no longer fit. Seriously? What the hell?

Second on my list of things I can definitely live without would have to be emptying the dishwasher. No one would recommend that little activity to someone they like.

I know we can all agree that it’s a two-pronged infuriation.

First, we must load the dishwasher, then we must unload the dishwasher. I can’t tell you how many times I have told myself as I was putting the silverware back into the drawer, Buy paper plates, Stupid!

I imagine we all concur there is nothing as irritating as a workman who doesn’t show up. Except the workman who does show up and makes things worse. Or breaks something new while fixing what’s broken.

Here’s a fun one, someone talking loud on their phone in a restaurant or social setting. Raise your hand if you give a damn about a thoroughly rude and inconsiderate stranger’s phone call.

Let’s not forget running out of stuff when you go to use it. How many times have you had to squeeze the last smidgen of toothpaste out of the tube because you forgot to buy a new one? And how much fun is it to be in a hurry and rushing down the street until Oops, there’s a group of slow walkers eating, chatting and blocking the entire sidewalk in front of you?

One of my favorites is trying to get plastic covered bubbled packages open that hold items like face cream, make-up, or various items. They are wrapped so tightly you’d think they’d been shipped from Fort Knox. Just a giant pain and frustration. If someone wants my Oil of Olay that bad, for heaven’s sake give it to them!

And while we’re on the topic, anyone tried to close those supposedly resealable bags lately?

Oh the fun of misplacing car keys or your phone. This always made me nuts so I ordered something that you attach to them and it answers when you clap.

Only problem is I can’t remember where I put the darn thing when it arrived. That’s another thing everyone loves…forgetting where something was put so you wouldn’t lose it.

Lest we forget one of my faves, forgetting my password. I used to write them down on a list, but never erased the old one. So now I’m not sure which is the old or the new. I guess the list was a bad idea.

Anyone tried to read a confusing parking sign lately? Good luck with that.

And of course we must include: popcorn kernels that don’t pop, missing a step and nearly tripping or tripping, paper cuts, band aids that don’t stay on after you wash your hands, potholes, power outages, fruit that is sour instead of sweet having to retie my shoes constantly, eating a bad pistachio and Christmas movies in July.

And this is a real biggie for me because I’m so short I can hardly reach above the light switch…smoke alarms that start beeping at two in the morning. I can’t tell you how many I have destroyed with a broom. And they don’t die easily.

There are so many more things that drive us all crazy, equally and efficiently. Lest we forget the charmers who text while driving.

So in at least that regard, yes, we are all the same.

Lastly, I must add people who bitch and moan about stuff that is annoying.

Oh sorry, that would be me.

Hey, I’m just trying to shore up the whole we-are-one brotherhood sentiment.

I’m sure there are many more so feel free to send them along to me. Actually, it’s a bit cathartic.

It’s always so nice when everyone agrees?

Living in a State of Gratitude. Is That Even Possible?

Lately an expression seems to be going around that is quickly getting overused and overworked. In California there is an overabundance of platitudes called upon far too frequently. Aside from hearing this newest addition ad nauseum, I am seriously wondering what it really means.

More and more there are those who wish to portray themselves as superior, virtuous beings by constantly expressing they are living in a state of gratitude.

My question is first and foremost, where is the state of gratitude? Is it in the USA? I don’t think so. We only have fifty states last time I heard. Although I read somewhere they are adding a fifty first, the State of Confusion. It would be the most populated state in America.

Is the state of gratitude in Europe? Highly doubtful. Maybe an island in the Caribbean or the Cayman’s where lots of Americans could join their money.

How would we find it? Is it on a map? Perhaps it’s hanging around under the water near Atlantis. The lost city of gratitude and only a fortunate few are lucky enough to have seen it.

Is it expensive to live there? How is the food? Should you rent or own?

What are the laws in the state of gratitude? Is there inflation and how are the interest rates there? What type of cuisine do they feature?

So after hearing people talk about this new locale now more visited than the Grand Canyon, I had to wonder: Do you live there all the time or can you leave and come back again? Do you need a passport?

It seems to me that no one could live there all day, every day and although most make it sound as though they do, I can’t imagine that is the case.

I mean you are driving along living in the state of gratitude and suddenly someone plows into your brand-new Mercedes.

Hmmm. Do you now leave the state of gratitude for a few moments to bitch and yell at the idiot who cut you off and smashed your new car?

Is your first response. Oh thank you. I’m so grateful you crashed into my new car and gave me a serious whiplash. Why am I doubting that is the case?

Pretty silly to walk around saying I live in a state of gratitude isn’t it? Simply because that would be impossible.

Those who are constantly preaching about their occupancy in that state, make it seem it’s like a total 100% existence.

We all have heard our whole lives that those who are thankful for both the little and big things in life are happiest, so all strive for that meaning.

We are grateful for the people we love and thankful they are well. We are happy when we get up in the morning, open our eyes and see another day.

Let’s be realistic here; life for most of us is a roller coaster of ups and downs. The human condition dictates we must face those challenges we are afflicted by daily.

Death, illness, a bad turn of events we didn’t expect, having to listen to the stupidity out of the mouths of politicians and all other means of unpleasantness to which flesh is heir.

So does living in a state of gratitude mean that when something horrible happens we are not allowed to be bummed? That we are not allowed to feel badly for someone who is suffering a loss or streak of misfortune?

I think it’s wonderful when one can say, even in the darkest of times they are grateful for all the good they have. Despite the negativity thrust upon them.

That is called optimism, thankfulness, gratitude or however you wish to identify the feeling, and it’s a good way to live.

Yet when one literally brags constantly about how grateful they are, it rings hallow. It feels as though someone is lecturing or bragging. Does it mean that when misfortune appears we are less of a person if at that moment of pain we don’t feel any gratitude at losing a loved one? Or for hearing the misfortunate of a friend or witnessing the horrors we see every day now in the world?

It almost makes one feel as though these people who constantly preach about their own sense of gratitude are somehow lording it over the rest of us.

That they know something we don’t and have discovered the answer to the riddle of the Sphinx.

I figured it all out and you’re all still in the dark.

Are they so enlightened they can stay in a state of gratitude even when the very nature of human existence is to feel sorrow, happiness, pain, remorse and empathy?

Shall we simply rise above every excruciating deed we witness and say I can’t feel this I’m in the state of gratitude. That’s my protection, so pass me a brownie, please. What type of gates can protect one from the emotions life delivers daily?

I must object to those who would tout their unfailing thankfulness when we merely see someone who is saying, I’m cool with everything and it’s great to be me. I have what I need to be happy, you need to get yours.

There will be times in every life when it’s almost impossible to be grateful. That isn’t the grand plan. Life throws us curveballs and even when we try to hit it out of the park, we sometimes fall short of the fence.

Although we as humans aspire to the highest ideals, it is a long-established fact on planet earth you won’t find perfection here.

It’s easy to be grateful for the great moments in life that come our way, but being grateful for the little things is a cultivated talent. Indeed, one for which we all should strive.  But it’s hard to listen to those who speak about gratitude as a new dress or outfit they can don as easily as slipping it over their head.

We are grateful and should be. We just are not grateful for those who tell us when and how to feel thankful. I imagine that is between us and our maker, and holier-than-thous should just keep their platitudes to themselves.

P.S. I’m thankful for all my readers, so that’s one for me. Have a great day and be grateful for how easy it still is to find chocolate.