I Fell Off The Earth

Long ago early man lived under the delusion the earth was flat. That walking too far in one direction or another would surely result in a fall so catastrophic into who knows where, life would end. Or worse he would become the enjoyable repast for an ocean filled with monsters and creatures he couldn’t fathom. Whatever the case he knew it was to his benefit to watch his step when he walked too close to the edge. Ahh but that was the conundrum. For as convinced as this dull creature was the earth was flat, he was never able to discover with certainty the end’s location.

Was it by sailing too far asea? Or would he reach the limits falling off a tall mountain or wandering too far in one direction across the desert terrain?

Whatever the case, he was certain of one thing…he better be darn careful or he’d be a goner for sure.

Now of course this early version of modern man couldn’t be blamed for such ignorance. After all he was limited by technology, science, skills and saddest of all, intelligence.

His inadequate brainpower had not nearly reached its potential so he was a captive to his own limitations.

Poor stupid, early man. Wandering about the earth peeking around corners to ensure there was no ledge from which to fall. Or scary monsters that would open a chasm from which he’d never return.

Must have been a bummer to take an evening stroll without street lights.

Yep, one has to feel sympathetic to these creatures so pathetic in their ability to figure out this mystery.

So when the question of a flat earth was finally settled, at least for some, man could move forward steadily and quickly without fear of falling. He could sail oceans, climb mountains and meet challenges secure in his safety.

Sadly, finding answers often lead to more questions and unintended consequences.

And consequences, that’s another story.

Tragically, discovering you won’t fall off the earth, doesn’t change the fact man is a creature with serious memory problems. That mistakes are constantly repeated and the human brain forgets, even when it promises it won’t.

So what is the point of this treatise Norma? You are simply telling us what we already know? What’s your point?

Sorry, but I wanted to set up the premise before I told you what it felt like to fall off the earth. To reveal I’d discovered the spot where it ends.

Yes, the other day I found that edge that threatened the very existence of mankind. That transported us back to those dark ages when we walked unknowingly into that abyss ensuring our demise.

It was a simple answer to a question that has plagued me for years. How did German Jews stay in Germany while Hitler spewed his intentions to kill them all? Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

But German Jews did.

Anyone who has ever spoken to a survivor has heard the words, “We thought of ourselves as Germans first and we were an important part of German society. We never thought it could happen here.”

So they hesitated until it was too late to stop the avalanche of hate rushing toward them and, well you know the rest.

The Jews of Europe fell off the earth and paid a high price for walking too close to the edge.

But those who survived learned and repeated the phrase Never Again until it became devoid of all meaning.

Jewish people whose reputation as intelligent, savvy and, laugh-of-all-laughs running everything, walked off the edge last week in their own modern Germany. Many voted to elect a man mayor of New York that believes they have no right to exist.

It would be no surprise with the virulent Antisemitism running through the world that many would align with him. After all he was offering all sorts of free stuff. And sadly, young people and too many older ones today have become addicted to free stuff. Snake oil salesmen have never had problems selling the weak minded and desperate.

But watching Jewish people cast a vote for a man that denies their right to exist. That celebrated October 7th, was proof that Jewish people still believe the earth is flat. They have not progressed or learned from the past. Yet are still wandering aimlessly, deep in their psychosis and desperate need to be accepted.

Yes, I fell off the earth last week into an ocean of stupidity and pitiful behavior by members of my own tribe hell bent on destruction.

He is not the first Haman he will not be the last. But for this to happen in New York City, the place where our families landed after the Holocaust is perhaps the saddest example of Jewish dementia I’ve seen.

I can say my fellow Jews are pathetic and pitiful. I can say it because I am a Jew, and those whom I love will ultimately face the consequences of this tragic folly.

The Jewish people of New York are marching backward through time, racing toward that fall off the earth into a sea of pain and destruction they supported and caused.

There is no longer a lack of knowledge the earth is round, or that man can sink to levels even the evilest of the species cannot foresee. There is only a certainty that mankind is unteachable, forgetful and doomed to self-destruction.

I fell off the earth and the fall was excruciating. Into a past so frightening it exceeds endurance. I pray Jewish people watch their step or they will once again be peering through fences or flee their homes.

Sadly, in today’s antisemitic world they will have nowhere to go.

So yes, for Jews the world is flat and we will all soon fall off and land with a painful thud.

I am reminded of that oft-repeated joke. “What is a basis for all Jewish holidays? They tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat.”

Hey, New Yorkers, if you survive you do have some of the best food in the country to feast on.

Tragically, you won’t be around to enjoy it any longer.

Mel Brooks and the IDF The Greatest Jewish Weapons

Recent media would lead one to believe a Jewish man by the name of Oppenheimer created the most powerful weapon in the universe.

Okay, it was good or maybe not so good, but Jews have always had the most powerful weapon necessary to ensure their survival. A sense of humor.

Every family has an Uncle Saul who believes if he could get out of the family room and onto a stage in Las Vegas he’d surpass Shecky Green by miles. He always has the latest jokes, a comment about Aunt Rose’s brisket and he hides the afikomen so well no one has ever found it until the house was sold and the new owners remodeled.

It wasn’t important if you were laughing with Uncle Saul or at him, the point is there was laughter.

This has sustained the Jews and always will.

Just add the IDF to the equation and no one can defeat us.

In the Bible it is written that the army who carries the Ark of the Covenant before it is invincible.

I believe that along with the pieces of the Ten Commandments locked inside it, there is also Myron Cohen’s best Jew jokes from the Ed Sullivan years.

Now in a time of great pain and suffering for Jewish people and the risk of destruction coming from all continents on earth, is it possible to find humor in anything?

Can we laugh at the atrocities committed by Hamas who is now a big favorite with Jew haters all over the world?

Can we laugh at the fact our Jewish children are no longer safe in colleges and universities across this country?

Can laughter sustain us when we realize the country we have loved and supported our whole lives is now as welcoming to Jews as Nazi Germany?

Or the fact that one day soon we might all face a modern day Anatevka of our own?

So I suppose the question that has been on my mind is: “So where is Mel Brooks when we need him?” Is there a modern comedian today who can fill his shoes or even wants to?

Who has the guts to take on a Hitler, a Haman, a Hamas or a Torquemada?

Who is proud enough of being a Jew that they would sacrifice the ridicule from their antisemitic friends to stand up and make us laugh? Sadly some of these antisemites are actually Jewish.

World War II had weapons and even at the end one of mass destruction.

Nothing in history has been as great a weapon against the mustached lunatic than Springtime for Hitler. Dancing girls in Swastika formation marching and singing, every Jew laughed until he cried. And the tears were cathartic. Even now as we are trying to heal from these latest attacks on our people, we must not be afraid to laugh. Laugh so hard we cry and the crying cleanses us.

When Mel Brooks took an enemy down, he did it without mercy and he was our greatest general.

We need Mel now. We need him to take down Hamas and allow us to laugh at their insanity and evil.

Laughter and the IDF are the weapons that will ensure the Jewish people survive this latest horror and continue to prosper as a people.

Some may say it’s too soon, but is it ever?  If laughter is one our greatest weapons, why would we hesitate to use its force against this new and imminent threat to our people.

I’m sure Mel would do a piece on the Hamas leader hold up in a five-star hotel in Qatar complaining about the room service not having any bacon for his cheeseburger. Perhaps he might have him flirting with the server and trying to convince her to join him for a costume party where he dresses up as Amal Clooney. Maybe Mel would have him posing in women’s clothing as a closet gay man playing with Barbie dolls and dressing them in Burqa bikinis while he tries on bras.

Or maybe he would have to move to a much larger hotel room to hide and store all the food and supplies he is stealing from the Gazans Israel is flying in to them.

I’m sure he would look like Dick Shawn in blue Jeans, a Campbell soup can around his neck and a flower behind his ear.

As ridiculous and stupid as any evil maniac should be portrayed, Mel could do this like no one else. I can’t even try to imagine how funny it would be. He could make us laugh at this monster and reduce him down to the size of a cockroach small enough to step on. And that is the point.

Jewish people must never get caught up in this new mentality that making fun of and with people is wrong. That laughing at ourselves is not a great way to deal with our flaws and that although the world is against us, laughter will still serve as our greatest weapon against evil.

It is the ideal way to point out the stupidity, horror and savagery of the malevolent among us and cut them down to size.

Evil has no sense of humor. Once someone exorcises jollity from their spirit, they align themselves with idealogues and maniacs that take existence and their own craziness too seriously. They can’t condone humor and only live to serve their own evil agendas.

Jewish people need laughter as well as the IDF. We need our comedians, even our Uncle Sauls who can put a bagel on his nose and sing a chorus of Hava Nagila without dropping it.

Humor is a gift meant to be opened when all else fails to work to keep us going. It’s the way Jews have survived the ages and will again.

I pray Mel Brooks comes to our rescue and if he is not able to do so, we must pray our new hilarious Jewish comics, and there are many out there, will be able to carry on. I’m certain Jerry Seinfeld or Larry David are up to the task and could fill Mel’s shoes.

And believe me those are some pretty giant shoes to fill.

Too Soon?

Too soon?

Most comedians are familiar with a question they ask frequently of an audience when doing topical humor.

Current events may not always be fodder for comedy, but a comedian’s job is to investigate how far to go when delivering jokes about news of a very tragic nature and how far to push the envelope.

It is always a dance between a comic and the listeners to arrive at a place of comfort when making light of what may only be called wretched and horrifying.

One of the greatest humorists Mel Brooks found a way to do this without making anyone uncomfortable. I of course can’t speak for the entire human race when I say his movies about Hitler and the Inquisition didn’t offend anyone, as I’m sure many found it reprehensible to joke about such horrific events.

However, the enormous success of his efforts speak volumes about the way the world feels the need to laugh and release the tension that comes with evil deeds.

At least after a time.

And so the question “too soon?” enters the discussion.

When is it “too soon” to try and find humor in the most heinous crimes and malevolence perpetrated against mankind?

How long before the world could laugh at Adolph Hitler and by doing so make him an object of ridicule and a joke?

And why do we seem to need to?

It wasn’t long at all with old Adolph as Charlie Chaplin took him on immediately in his classic movie The Great Dictator which still lives to this day as an example of how derision and mockery about evil can cut it down to size.

Yet not everyone feels humor is justified when speaking of the horrors of some of the world’s most outrageous wickedness.

Are some acts just too vile to joke about or attempt to find any humor in at all?

And has human nature decided that laughter is no longer a proper coping mechanism and doesn’t serve the same purpose it once did?

As someone who has often written about the need for absurdity to overcome the pain and suffering of malicious deeds against humanity, I find myself suddenly questioning whether enough time will ever pass to find any humor in the horrors of October 7th committed against the Jewish people. Despite the fact I’ve always advocated that satire can help heal the wounds and pain of such evil, I can’t seem to convince myself that in this case a joke will help at all.

That wittiness will ever ease the pain of knowing Jewish students are no longer safe on school campuses, that Israel is being called out for trying to defend its children and survive another planned holocaust, that even after babies were cooked in ovens while their mothers were forced to watch and hear their screams the Jewish people are being told, “Hey take it easy, it wasn’t so bad.”

The world once again has decided that the Jewish people should sit back and take whatever is foisted upon them no matter how heinous without overreacting.

But is there an over-reaction to a dead baby? Can you find any funny to lessen the anguish of human beings being slaughtered and the world poo pooing their pain and determination to survive.

That they are being told to be careful and back off of their attackers.

Where does one find humor in such callous disregard for fellow human beings?

Can any response be too great after acts of such uncivilized barbarism have been perpetrated? Would any amount of compassion Israel may show be enough to satisfy the haters?

Or is it once again a case of, “Oh well it’s just the Jews and they had it coming?”

As someone who has used comedy her entire life to cope with the injustices and pain living delivers, I’m now afraid I must change my opinion on this matter.

I’m sorry to say, yes, it’s too soon. In fact, it will always be too soon to laugh at this new level of malevolence that has infected the civilized world.

This is sadly not a time for laughter to lighten our load for this load must be carried until we restore humanity to power once again. It will not take wittiness, jokes or satire to fix the world now. Not when a world that should stand fast against such crimes chooses instead to condone them.

So as a member of the audience and former comedian I must say, “Yes, it is indeed too soon.”

Perhaps if the day comes when laughter is restored to the world Mel Brooks will grace us all with his genius at cutting Hamas down to size. Or perhaps just cutting them down will suffice.