Tag: go with the flow

Peace in Purpose Meets Peace Love and Rock and Roll

“Humans need something to do, someone to love and something to hope for…” recipe for happiness.

I had the most amazing dream the other night. I dreamed everyone was nice to one another. People were having conversations without an anger. I saw smiling and waves as I walked the streets and a part of me said, this is a dream, I’m sure of it.

Then I remembered that in another time and place it was real. There was talk and no yelling. Peace love and rock and roll. Flowers and rainbows. Conversation and no arguing, disagreements in a pleasant manner and people being okay with someone that disagreed with them.

Upon awakening I realized it hadn’t been so much a dream as a memory.

A time when life was quiet and comfortable. I needed to understand why.

So I thought long and hard about what might have happened to change people.

To turn friend against friend, family against family and humans into uncompromising and angry beings.

It took some time, but not all that much once I realized a universal truth.

Happy people don’t lash out.

Being fulfilled creates a peaceful spirit and feeling safe allows for acceptance.

Yet there is so much anger, volatility, resentment and negativity it has literally drown out all the good emotions.

I know Baby Boomers are often accused of sugar coating the past. The back-in-my-day rhetoric is a source of amusement for those unable to relate.

I understand that if one has never experienced an emotion or experience it’s impossible to comprehend.

So I can’t help but have sympathy for generations that can’t remember a time when kindness was the law of the land. When respect for yourself and others ruled the day, and good works and personal achievement were noble goals.

What can be done to return the human race to its former state as human beings?

I’ve given this a great deal of thought. Not because I was elected to office to do so, but because I want to leave my grandchildren a better world.

Politicians are the last people on earth to want to make the world better. Watch their campaign ads and it’s obvious hatred is good for business and they lean into it with all their might.

Politics has become a terminal illness for which there is no cure. The need to blame and vilify has been raised to an art form and people are the victims of this sick and corrupt mentality.

If anyone is offended by my feelings toward politicians, good.

But they are only one part of the problem. There are other reasons for this sudden inability to show anyone grace any longer.

Sadly I must resort to a trite and over simplified cliché, “hurt people hurt people.”

Yes I know, but actually let’s face it, they are overused for a reason, they fit.

Back in prehistoric times when I was growing up, there was a certain vibe in the air. Not loud, but quiet and hovering, like a fluffy white cloud on a perfect summer day.

It was that feeling of acceptance. A certain knowledge that allowed for contentment.

The formula for happiness has never changed. It’s simple and despite the changing times remains a constant.

Humans need something to do, someone to love and something to hope for.

There is peace in purpose. Knowing what is expected of us and others creates a timeline to follow and a path to walk. Life isn’t as fraught with danger when we simply have to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. Belief in the future, despite our inability to actually foresee destiny, dispels uncertainty.

Do our plans always turn out as we envision? Of course not, but usually better things than we’ve planned crop up in their stead. Thus the whole go-with-the-flow mentality is positive and healing.

People with a purpose aren’t bored or unsettled. Okay, to be trite once more, idle hands are the devil’s workshop.

Baby Boomers had a sense of destiny. We grew up in times when hostilities had ended and new life was beginning. Professions and businesses were in their infancy and everyone had a role to play in this new vision for America.

The war had changed everyone and it was now a chance to rebuild the world through hard work and big dreams.

Sure I sound pollyannaish. I get that, but it was calm and safe. There wasn’t constant fear or unrest, but a sameness about each day that was comforting and tranquil. The unrest came later.

There was love and respect for our parents, teachers and one another.  We knew right from wrong and understood the meaning of accountability for straying.

I get that it may sound like we were Stepford children, but it was the opposite. Our teachers gave us the facts we needed to think for ourselves and make our own decisions. I imagine that’s what lead to the peace movement in the sixties.

Baby Boomers had all the ingredients necessary to be happy. Purpose, love and hope for a future we could build.

Still, nothing is perfect. There were glitches along the way for sure.  We were in many ways pampered, spoiled and our parents wanted us to have great lives. Maybe at times there was an over-abundance of all this love. It did however give us a sense of social compassion for those who needed more than what we were so lucky to have had.

The sixties were turbulent times for our generation. War, civil rights, and assassination. As Bob Dylan wrote, The Times They Are A-Changin’.

We felt unsettled, uncertain and unhappy. Too many succumbed, many overcame.  We ultimately plowed through the winds of change with new strength and respect for what we could achieve.

So what went wrong with us and when?

It’s obvious when you hear new generations crying out against work, confused about love, because they are lacking it for themselves, and deriding any hope for the future, unhappiness is inevitable.

All the ingredients necessary to forge a contented human have been cast out in favor of anger and hatred.

Replacing love and purpose with rage and futility is not a formula for a positive outcome.

So what can be done to cure this illness of anger permeating our society?

Could it be so simple as a return to the basics, love purpose and hope? I say yes.

Children must be taught there is nobility in work, there is love in each of us and there is a future if we build it together. It’s the easiest math I’ve ever done. Three simple parts added to create a happy and healthy whole.

Good and evil are movable concepts. They spread and encompass areas dropping specks of emotions on all nearby. No one can deny a bad aura can cover up a good one in no time. Simplistic? Perhaps, or maybe not.

What must we do to begin anew? It’s up to those who remember to pass along those good vibrations to anyone who will listen. And most importantly actually live that peace, love and rock and roll. Then rinse and repeat until we wash away the bad.

Choose to Stop Choosing

Am I the only one who has noticed the choices we make about our lives seem to be less crucial as we age?

It once seemed that every time I was faced with a decision the importance was magnified by the fact it may affect the course of my life. Which let’s face it, seemed long to us then.

Now making a choice seems kind of, I don’t know, simplistic.

I’m of course not speaking about the choices that seriously affect our health conditions or life and death. I’m talking about the little things that come up daily that seem so trivial now.

Picking a college, or a profession at that time was quite daunting. After all it could change the course of one’s destiny.

I have noticed today’s young people seem to agonize far less that we did. They are not as locked into forever as we were. They have a shorter attention span to all things.

The go-with-the-flow mentality we always sought to cultivate has landed in our grandchildren’s generation.

They seem far less restricted by the fact they are locked into one path, but can select numerous options.

I have no idea why it was the case, but we had a far stronger attachment to permanence. While we believed you chose a life path and moved ahead never veering, they seem far less invested in forever.

I remember so well how things went then.

Certain life choices were serious and permanent. Well as far as we were concerned.

Things like marriage, how many children, profession, where to live, when to retire and where, were credible parts of our lives to consider and weigh.

It was very different for sure. There were expectations sprinkled with limitations for women.
Men were expected to go to college, get a profession or business degree. Women not so much.

Many women entered college with their parents urging them to pursue an Mrs. degree.

If a girl graduated with an engagement ring on her finger, to many parents that was a successful outcome.

Coming from a home where my father was a devout believer that women were to be cared for and know their place, I never felt I had many choices. However, blessed with a rebellious nature I opted to forego the oft designated and preferred teacher route. “The you’ll always have something to fall back on,” mantra that was drilled into girl’s minds back then.

I became a journalist, which for my time was a bit avant garde. It was a profession in which women were just beginning to feel their oats and a dream of mine since childhood.

Of course, women were expected to quit whatever job they held as soon as motherhood became imminent and be the caregiver in the family.

Most girls of my era never questioned or rebelled against that choice. We were very happy and satisfied in that role.

Still, many did feel there might be something more after child raising. Being more educated than our mothers we felt a slight twitching of discontent. I’m not saying everyone. Most of the women I knew were content to live happily as wives and mothers and make it their priority, as was I. Yet, some felt they wanted more choices for our lives. The Feminist Movement highlighted that need.

After all we’d gone to college, learned, secured professions and wanted to do something more than derive our self-esteem from how white we got our sheets and towels.

Believe me I’m not diminishing in any way the satisfaction of raising a family.  Seeing your children grow up happy, healthy and productive human beings is a job of which any women should be most proud. At least I am, and most mother’s I know.

However, we felt that after we raised our kids, new choices should be available to pursue.

And pursue we did.

So many women I knew left the nest they had built and made the choice to begin anew.

Some went back into their profession, some started businesses they had dreamed about and others pursued charity work.

These were important choices and women now seemed to have more of them.

After all the bra burnings, women’s movements and liberation inspiration it became clear the world had changed.

But not just for women. The choices women made now also changed the family dynamic. Men who had come to expect a certain paradigm in the home, were faced with new lifestyles.

Kids found it necessary to be more independent from their parents and learn skills they hadn’t ever thought necessary.

It didn’t happen overnight, but it all happened.

These were life changing choices.

Today what is really so important?

What day or where we play pickle ball? Which cruise to take, or should I let my hair go gray? Where is the best early bird special? Bra burning holds a far different meaning now. The act no longer symbolizes freedom. But the casting off of old worn-out clothing. Elastic can only stretch for so long before it must be tossed.

Figuring out which day of the week to do Physical Therapy isn’t the same as deciding on who you will marry.

The choices today seem to carry far less weight and carry far less consequences.

Yes, I’m aware any choice we make at any age can produce unexpected results, but it seems as you age don’t sweat the small stuff has finally kicked in.

I in no way intend to imply that Baby Boomers live inconsequential lives. No way. In fact so many have chosen to take risks and accomplish goals that are quite impactful and far reaching.

I can’t imagine a generation that marched against a war, for civil rights and witnessed assassinations could find satisfaction in irrelevance.

In the end, I wonder if we should acquiesce to the young of today. I’m looking around and not so sure they can do as good a job as we did. But I’m just too damn tired to fight the world anymore.

So, it’s tempting to play golf, maj jong, travel and choose which safari to experience.

Choice or no choice. I say what the hell, we’ve earned time off from tough choices. So why not just choose to enjoy every minute?