Tag: gardening

Growing a Great Life in the Golden Years

The golden years are a conundrum. It seems the irony  is palpable.

Finally, at a point in life when you have all the time in the world to do as you wish, go where you please and live as you choose, you have far less inclination to do any of it.

The older one becomes, the lower their standards and expectations become.

When someone asks how I am, I have a pat answer, “I woke up on the right side of the grass this morning, so it’s a glorious day.”

Now there was a time this answer would not have been my response to that question.

This isn’t a value judgement in any way, but when young we maintain certain beliefs about how we should live. When these plans don’t always come to fruition, we are disappointed. We become determined to rectify that situation and make expectation become reality.

As we live our life consumed with a busy schedule filled with dreams to pursue, children to raise or businesses to build, we find settling unacceptable.   

Now I’m not saying that young people complain. That is not the case at all. I’m merely pointing out that living when one is expectant and busy is a far different reality from life in the golden years.

I have also noticed that a great deal of what one can anticipate from life is determined genetically.

Yes, I know that countless authorities have spoken and continue to speak about how we can control how we age. I agree to a degree that is very true.

Eating healthy, exercise and attitude is of course a vital component in the process.

Yet, in some ways many find aging well is dependent on other factors, some of which are not under our control.

Certain health factors have a genetic component and although there are new meds and cures that didn’t previously exist there is no cure for everything.

So, is it true many seniors are beginning to shun away from the constant tumult they felt was mandatory for a productive life?

Is it okay in lieu of attending a luncheon sitting with women you barely know, to stay home and invent a recipe you’ve been contemplating for ages?

Or not driving at night to the theatre to see a play when you have ten streaming channels filled with movies, documentaries and old sitcoms to entertain you?

People are constantly telling me after getting up, getting dressed, putting on make-up and driving miles to go somewhere, they need a day of recuperation.

I truly envy my friends that can still swat a pickleball, run out to lunch or work and feel no need to slow down.

Are they the majority or a small minority? No idea.

Perhaps perfection exists in individuality.  

As long as one is able to move about freely, there is no reason not to enjoy freedom.

Many seniors still travel a great deal and cruises are a great compromise.

Although I have a friend that cruises and claims some of these new ships are the size of a small city. Despite the menus overflowing with calories, he always loses weight from all the walking.

A good thing I suppose, but it can also be exhausting.

Is running all over actually stress inducing and tiring for many?

I believe it can be. Many enjoy being home, cooking, gardening, watching movies, engaging in a hobby they’ve never previously had the time for.

So many women enjoy playing cards or maj jong. Many men golf, hike and still bowl.

Is the fact many of the things we enjoy are home based a negative? Does cutting ourselves off more actually cut into our life span?

The world seriously had an aha moment when 2020 brought a whole new way of living. COVID removed our ability to wander about freely. After a time families formed “pods” visiting among themselves, but being forced into hibernation certainly was a game changer.

One of the things I and many others discovered was that staying at home wasn’t as horrible as we’d anticipated.

Instead of becoming a prison- like existence, it was almost liberating.

People began rediscovering many of the hobbies, interests, and fun activities they’d long ago forgone.

So many rediscovered or learned to cook. Streaming was a “thing” and everyone chatted about the latest “hot” shows on Netflix or other streamers.

Jigsaw puzzles arrived regularly from Amazon and Face Time and Zoom opened new worlds of engagement.

Once people began venturing out, many decided spending more time at home was a new option worth exploring.

Reading, painting and many other activities had morphed into enjoyable ways of spending a day. One’s own company was now welcome and acceptable. Yes, during COVID at times there was a sense of forced loneliness, but new options now created avenues for self-exploration and fulfillment.

So, which is a healthier lifestyle, in or out?

I’m guessing it’s up to the individual what they feel comfortable with and can handle.

It also may come down to what we’ve always been taught, moderation is the key to everything. A bit of this and a tad of that creates variety and balance.

Whatever one decides to do, it’s important we remain grateful for having time as we age. If at the end of a day you’ve enjoyed the journey through it, it sounds all good to me. P.S. check out the movie, The Penguin Lessons on Netflix. I think it’s an extremely enjoyable way to spend some of that time.

Stop Throwing Shade on Shade

So I’m watching golf today. I know I know, you’re asking why? Okay, I love watching these guys play because I stink.

So anyway, enough justifying my golf watching, the course looked amazing. The sun was in a great position, the greens were emerald and most of all there was a great deal of shade under the trees. The kind of shade that looks like it’s actually painted in.

The kind of summer day that makes you want to plop into a hammock and just watch the clouds roll by. Or run your bare feet through the cool leafy grass. Funny, does anyone do that anymore? Lie in the shade I mean. Just checking out the shape of the clouds? Or run your feet through grass. I wonder if that isn’t one of those things we lose when we get older. Or perhaps it’s the whole Oh-my-God-stay-out-the-sun panic.

Whatever the reason that’s actually my point. Despite the fact I seem to be taking forever to get there, it’s about shade.

When did shade become a bad thing?

When I was a kid shade was what you sought out and embraced on a hot day. After roller skating around the block a few times, you honed in on a shady spot like a boobed-up blonde to a rich old coot.

We all had our favorite trees we’d scoped out and felt the most covered under. That special tree that not only had the most leaves, but allowed for maximum breezage.

Does it seem I’m being too scientific here? It was never about science then, but comfort. Those hot days were pretty brutal for a generation that spent so much time outdoors, before computers, social media and daytime TV.

And here is the real 411, before air conditioning. It came eventually with some room air conditioners strategically placed around the house. But until then, on a hot day shade was your best friend. It cooled down your burning hot cheeks to a livable temperature and allowed you to head out into the blazing sunlight renewed.

Of course, at a certain point it was time to fill that pool and go for it, but shade kept you cooled down sufficiently to jump rope, play some dodgeball or read a comic book.

It was the place you gathered to trade baseball cards, play marbles, or picnic. PBJ and lemonade always seemed tastier outside on a blanket under a shady tree.

If indeed shade was so important to us as kids, why in the world has it taken on such a negative connotation?

Who decided that throwing shade on someone is a bad thing? An insult so to speak? No one asked me for my vote. I know which side I would have come down on.

I imagine this is just another example of how different the younger generation is from Baby Boomers.

We saw shade as something beautiful, comforting healing and abundant. An oasis in a stifling desert pre-air conditioning when we lived outdoors.

We loved the sun before it became our enemy. There was no sun screen, no thought of how dangerous it was to have a deep tan, just a natural desire to seek out the sun and shade.

Most neighborhoods didn’t have clumps of trees like a golf course, so we gravitated toward the lushest with that perfect opening between the leaves to allow for breezy relief.

We spent quality time in the shade. It was always positive to cool down, play cootie catchers or cat’s cradle with your best friend. A chance to recharge your batteries before the street lights went on and the day outdoors came to an end.

Shade allowed us to take advantage of every bit of fresh air and sunshine. We enjoyed a healthy lifestyle foreign to most kids today.

Now kids troll their social media and accuse people of throwing shade like it’s a crime against humanity. The real crime is not enjoying a sunny day and a shady tree.

Talk about corrupting the positive into a negative that shouldn’t exist.

If kids today weren’t raised with central air, sun screens and computers they could appreciate what an ally they have in a shady spot under a leafy friend.

Shade is the shadow of a tree that gives comfort equally and equitably to all.

It shares itself with everyone, anytime in a welcoming and comforting manner.

There is nothing negative about shade or what it provides.

All I can say as I turn back to Scottie Scheffler trying to reclaim his throne, is please young people; stop throwing shade on shade!

I Saw Goody Proctor Consorting With a Tomato Worm

I saw Goody Proctor Consorting with a Tomato Worm

So I believe by now we can all agree the world in which we are living is definitely unrelated to the world in which we were born. That coocoo for cocoa puffs no longer solely applies to breakfast cereal.

But I digress.

I have no idea what life was like in colonial times in America.

I know they ate turkey on Thanksgiving so I imagine they left the table stuffed and sick like the rest of us. I guess some things never change.

I know there were no modern conveniences and women had to wash clothes in the creek and in tubs and hang it all on the line. I get exhausted just unloading the dryer.

I know there were no microwaves, computers or commercials about Cadbury eggs, and I imagine most  women worked off their calorie intake just doing their “chores.”

So I’m guessing spinning classes weren’t a necessity.

I know they gossiped like crazy, “I saw Goody Proctor consorting with the devil.” As I said, some things never change.

When we’re born we grow up with the new-fangled notions and inventions already there.

If something new comes down the pike we kind of take it in stride, Oh look, a color television!

Yet, as I get older I’m finding the rapid pace of today’s world is not often easy to navigate.

Okay, I’m down with computers, not so much with this AI stuff. I’m not sure I’ll ever wrap my head around having something or someone out there that can make me say or do whatever I want without me even knowing about it. I guess we have no choice.

So it’s adapt or go the way of the dinosaurs. I’m doing my best to adapt cause whichever way the dinosaurs went I want to go the opposite.

Trying to adapt I’m remembering things that I never really was okay with throughout my life, yet I still managed to get through and make it to wrinkle city despite the things I disliked.

Of course I’m not alone in having to navigate a sea of stuff we hate and would rather not know was there.

Each person has their own pet peeves.

I have no idea why they are called pet when a pet is actually something we embrace, so I guess that’s really an oxymoron.

In the spirit of total transparency, I don’t care how old I get I will never understand tomato worms.

UGH! Not only are they ugly and disgusting, I still can’t figure out where the hell they come from.

Okay I’ve asked and people tell me they are in the soil. Oh are they?

I can understand why they might be in the soil in one’s backyard garden. After all they can travel from house to house showing their ugly faces. That is reasonable to me.

However, and here’s the big question…if one plants a rooftop garden in a high rise on Fifth Avenue in New York, how the hell do tomato worms show up there?

Do they take the elevator or do they fly in on tomato worm drones? Oops, next morning there’s suddenly these hideous creatures in your plants. Do they jump onto the cuff of your pants and hide out until you hit the roof again.

I mean what’s up with these things? I guess that’s why they freak me out so much. I feel like they fly around in special red tomato worm UFOs looking for rooftop gardens to land on.

Yes I know I need help, but let’s face it, we all have things which we find it difficult to accept and stomach.

Yet, we are told human beings are quite adaptable.

But are we? Does this new world demand a new set of rules? Can we just stay away from the bad stuff and keep busy elsewhere?

Or does reality have a way of creeping into our lives like a tomato worm to the fiftieth floor?

Do we all have to make a conscious effort to live with new challenges far scarier than ever before?

Technology we can’t even understand.

A world that’s difficult to fathom despite us being adept at understanding what is right and what is wrong yet somehow things are upside down?

I have no answers, but I imagine because my generation is older it’s more difficult to go with the new flow.

Now it’s more important than ever to find new ways to escape all the unpleasantness around us and just focus on fun things.

We need more lightness, more Christmas, more chocolate, more pickleball to get through the day.

We need to shop, do lunch, try new kinds of pizza and burn our scales in effigy.

“I saw my bathroom scale consorting with the devil.” Or is it really the devil itself?

I don’t know how to sort through all the craziness thrown at us every day. There is really no shield big enough to stop that flow, but if we need to learn anything at this age, it’s how to become the most effective Cleopatras of all time and be total queens of denial.

Some things never change, some change all the time and some are difficult to understand. Perhaps we should form Baby Boomer support groups where we can sit around and talk about the good old days when the world made sense.

When drone meant someone who never shut up and AI stood for Al who lived down the street.

When gas was nineteen cents a gallon and Trix were for kids.

When Rod Serling could scare us and there was actually something called penny candy.

If I am waxing nostalgic it’s because I miss my wax lips and when a hot summer day was called delightful and not global warming.

Maybe we could have stopped the flow of insanity and maybe not, but we all have to live in it now.

Holy Moly, there’s an invasion of tomato worms at the Plaza Rooftop in New York. I warned them but they wouldn’t listen. Home grown tomatoes my grandmother’s bustle.