Tag: earthquake

How Could I Know I’m Such a Wuss?

How Could I Know I’m Such a Wuss?

I have been without electricity all day. Now you’re thinking…and so, what’s the big deal?

Okay I can see why you’d think it’s no big whoop. After all once there was no electricity and oil lamps and wood fireplaces lit and warmed the home.

Yes, but that’s the point. Unless we have oil burning lamps I’m not aware of in this building and a fireplace filled with wood and kindling, it is rather hard to make it work.

And by it I mean your computer, your phone, your refrigerator, your oven, your lights and pretty much your life.

I have never been one of those people who believe they are totally dependent on modern conveniences to survive. I pictured myself as a rugged pioneer type who could cope with hard work to get things done. Me come from strong stock! 

Able to cut firewood and pump the water from the well. Carrying the milk in from the barn after milking the cows. Having cows!  

Boy was I wrong. I now truly believe I can’t exist without the tech junk. And Lord, what a wuss I am.

Tomorrow I shall go to Costco and buy a slew of battery-operated candles to hide away for another day when heaven forbid there is no power.

Can’t open the fridge, can’t phone a friend because I didn’t charge my back up charger, and no television. Oh my! I keep staring at the TV waiting for Netflix to appear.

Talk about desperate, I was sitting in the dark garage with my car on charging my phone.

How on earth did I get so darned reliant on power?

Yesterday sitting on the couch, I felt an earthquake. Nothing huge, but enough of a shaking to make me hold my breath waiting for the other shoe to drop, literally.

Yet today, although I was prewarned about the power outage, I found myself unprepared to deal at all.

Can’t find the batteries for the flashlights because it’s dark in the closet where they’re kept.

Ran out of matches years ago and use the gas stove to light anything. Too bad my gas stove needs electricity to work.

No news programs and what if there is actually some good news for a change? Okay, I can still dream can’t I?

My grandsons and I can’t play our usual Roblox games on facetime because, that’s right…no phone or computer.

I have decided that if the power doesn’t come back on soon and it gets really dark in here, I may have to go to my daughter’s house.

I’m sorry but I prefer my SUV to a covered wagon. I can tough it out for only so long before this whole frontier crap gets old.

And it’s getting old fast.

It’s cold in here and I’m under a blanket wondering if there will ever be heat again.  I’m actually eyeing that old chair I want to replace thinking it would make great firewood. 

So where did she go? That frontier, pioneer Norma I had anticipated would rise to the occasion. I don’t see her anywhere, probably because it’s getting so damn dark in here I can’t see anything.

So am I shocked that I am such a lily-livered-spoiled-tech dependent-modern convenience-needy person? Damn right I am.

The fact I can’t seem to find enough to keep me busy one crummy afternoon without the stuff I’m used to having and the habits I’m so used to living makes me sad. Hashtag/books on Kindle.

We all have a routine and I guess I have seen firsthand how difficult it is when that routine is interrupted.

Should I be more flexible, more able to roll with the punches? 

I mean what would happen if a UFO landed and took out the grid in LA? Oops, we’d all be toast here. How would Gavin Newson buy his hair gel?

What do you mean my latte isn’t ready?

Hello Door Dash are you there? Door Dash please answer.

It is unbelievable how spoiled we are. 

Good luck to my neighbors with EVs.

So who is responsible for this bunch of cowering weaklings?

Modern science that’s who.

The aliens must be watching and laughing their gray asses off, if they have any, at how easy it will be to defeat us.

“Just turn out the lights and all we have to do is wait.”

Wow, I forgot, Rod Serling wrote that show 60 years ago for The Twilight Zone and he called it The Monsters Are Due on Maple Street. Yep, he predicted it all didn’t he?

Well, I’d love to watch it right now, but you see I can’t because I have no damn power!

I guess I could go for a walk, I hear there is an outdoors with sidewalks and grass and a sky, but it’s cold. In LA anything under 60 is too bitter to endure and I’m too lazy to bundle up.

Lord I’m a helpless, lazy boob.

I guess I should invest in a generator as I now understand those things are worth their weight in gold.

I’d check on Amazon and buy one, but I have no damn Internet!

As I stare at the cable box waiting for signs of life like a child watching chocolate chip cookies bake in the oven, I’m tempted to open the windows and let the stench of the candles clear out of here. But it’s too cold and there’s no heat so at this point I have to choose between darkness and freezing.

All my favorite programs won’t have been taped because the cable was out so I’ll miss them when the TV comes back on, if it ever does.

Boy I can’t get over what a whiny, weak, crybaby I am. Wah wah wah my cable box is off. How will I survive?

I’d order pizza for dinner, but I have no phone. 

By tomorrow they’ll find me frozen and starved in here hugging my cell phone in a fetal position.

I’m forcing myself to be positive and believe the lights will go back on soon. That the furnace will suddenly return to life and begin blowing forced warm air through the ducts. That the cable box will glow and blink with blue numbers reading 12:00 and the fridge will click on and begin refreezing the Hagan Daz.

Of course there is an upside to all this. I was about to clean the make-up drawers in my bathroom and throw away stuff from 1994, but it’s so dark  I have to put it off.

I also have been afraid to open the freezer and eat a pint of stress ice cream because I don’t want to thaw the food, so saving calories is also good. 

My eyes are kind of happy because staring at a computer all day does tire them out.

I’m trying to be positive here so help me out.

The workpeople are already a half hour later than they said they’d be finished, but it is the cable company after all.

I guess it’s good to be divorced from all the tech for a day. 

I’d check and see if any studies have been done on that subject, but I can’t Google right now!

At least the music on my computer works and Ella Fitzgerald sounds really good.

Music sooths and all that. Wait, I saw a flicker, gotta go, can’t talk now there’s some Hagan Daz soup with my name on it.

California Does Biblical?

Can You Ever Be Happy in California?

Don’t worry, be happy. A popular song and supposedly the attitude of Californians, but is it really?

Californians are never happy. In a state that is constantly complaining about the lack of water and screaming draught every minute I have heard ad nauseum how evil it is to take a shower lasting more than two minutes. I almost killed myself once trying to rush out of the shower to meet the time limit. Getting the soap off me in the designated time has become one of life’s great challenges.

I’ve heard Los Angeles politicians are considering forming a committee to determine whether or not to create a water police force.

So now I have to worry about using too much water and getting a ticket or being thrown in jail. In California showering an extra minute is apparently a far worse crime than robbing, looting, stealing or killing. But I digress.

So today as I sit here happily listening to the pitter patter of little raindrops on my window screens I am elated.

Of course the state is in a panic because water dares to enter its borders, but why when all they talk about is the lack of it?

The fig tree outside my window that is usually forced to be happy with the buckets of water I provide its roots when I remember, is literally dancing in the raindrops like Gene Kelly holding his umbrella and wrapped around a pole.

Yes, it’s windy and yes, it’s wet outside, but I’m from Detroit and a little rain is the least of bad weather to my mind.

So what does it take to make these Californians happy?

They hate it when it’s dry. They complain and run for the bomb shelters when a few raindrops hit the earth so what does it take to satisfy them?

A friend of mine said the grocery stores yesterday were pre-pandemic. People throwing food and Cheetos in their carts and fighting over toilet paper like the world was ending. Hey, that’s my Charmin and keep your paws off my quilted Northern! Oh my heavens the ground is wet how will we cope?

So why does California suffer so much from water envy?

Here’s a thought…when it’s pouring rain like it is today and was this past winter why not store the water to use when the supply is low?

Hmmm, that’s a thought. Let’s see; capture the water before it flows into the drains and back into the ocean. Duh, what a concept.

Hollywood is the land of the tease. When I first moved here I quickly discovered the weathermen loved to bait people with startling reports of inclement weather. Hide and take shelter the rain is coming.

Then I’d wake up the next morning and somehow it was always sunny and gorgeous. I soon learned that being a weatherman in LA is a fun job if you like tormenting trees and flowers with visions of falling rain.

Hey, Palm tree, wanna be in the movies?

There are definitely many risks associated with living in LaLaLand.

Shaking earth is the biggie. Every time I feel the earth move my heart stops and I close my eyes and pray.

Next, mudslides. How’d you like to wake up with a ton of mud sleeping next to you? Well in LA it can happen.

Third is definitely fires. Oh boy, this is scary because one spark can set off an entire neighborhood. I think we’ve seen lately how horrible the consequences of a fire can be after Maui.

Oh and there is the danger of driving on the 405. If you don’t pass out waiting to move an inch forward in traffic, you could be killed by some guy speeding in and out of lanes while cars are literally at a standstill.

So today California went biblical. Of course I’m not downplaying the dangers that can be a factor of a rainstorm. Lightning, downed power lines, snakes, no cable or Internet, flash floods, that’s a big one, or having your house float away into the Pacific Ocean like the coastal residents have to fear.

So far since I began writing this blog, we’ve had an earthquake, mudslide, tropical storm, floods and snakes.

So yes rain can be a problem, but right now the sound of the raindrops outside my window are a welcome change from the constant sunshine we’re forced to live with. Boo Hoo.

Wait a minute that sounded a lot like complaining about all the nice weather, Norma.

Oh Lord, am I turning into one of them? No, no, no I love the rain, I love the sun, it’s all wonderful. Let it pour and may every tree and flower enjoy each raindrop.

Of course it’s a good thing that California and Nevada are over preparing for any dangerous event. As Jalaima, our housekeeper in my youth always preached, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.”

I hear Tropical Storm Hillary is leaving for Vegas tomorrow. That’s a gamble. Good luck at the tables, even a hurricane couldn’t win in that town.

So fellow Californians stay alert and please somebody collect the damn rain water so I don’t have to take those two-minute showers this winter. It’s really hard to scrub your feet with track shoes on. What the hell? Was that a locust flying by my window and was he hugging a frog. Hey sound effects, cue the hailstones!

Keto Philly Steak

2 Zero carb tortillas if small. Larger you’ll probably only need one

1 cup Ground Beef or Steak

½ cup Green, Yellow or Red Peppers

¼ cup mushrooms (optional)

¼ cup Onions,

Oil,

1 cup Provolone or Mozzarella Cheese or two thick slices

Saute onions, peppers until translucent

Remove and add beef and when browned add back peppers and onions. Cover with cheese and then cover and melt cheese on top of mixture.

Remove and place on pita and fold over. Enjoy!