At a certain age it becomes apparent you’d do many things differently and sadly, even more apparent you won’t get the opportunity.

With aging comes wisdom, at least that’s the plan. However, I’ve often wondered, what’s the point of acquiring wisdom when you are quickly becoming too old to put it to good use? Is it not a fact with most people aging moves faster than knowledge?

How can we use this wisdom for good?

Despite the fact you’d love to impart that insight to your children it becomes obvious they choose to acquire their own. At times they will allow you to share your perceptions with them, but most often they select their own paths to enlightenment. One can only stand by and wait to serve.

Of course, as most of us know although painful, we learn from our own mistakes far more readily than from watching those of others. It seems hard won lessons are the ones that have the most impact on our lives.

It is in this spirit I will share a lesson I learned far too late in life.

I am beginning to believe one of the greatest gifts one can be blessed with is not solely a metabolism that allows you to eat whatever you wish and not gain weight. Yes, this is great, but also the ability to learn early in life how inconsequential things should be ignored and cast aside works too.

If you doubt the veracity of what I say, think back on your life and name five things, just five that you agonized over but failed to made a difference in your destiny in any significant way.

I can’t even bear to think about how much of my life has been wasted thinking about inconsequential problems that had no impact on my destiny.

I know you are having trouble finding five is hard because most of the things we worry about disappear or resolve themselves. Like a leaf that blows off a tree and wafts through the air unnoticed and is soon forgotten.

A bad haircut that’s one. I’ve had so many I can’t even count them, yet I’m certain I agonized and worried until my hair seemed normal once again.

How silly. Hair grows back and that’s a fact. Giving it a thought is truly a waste of time and yet we do. I suppose one could argue it’s because a good hair day can enhance your self-esteem, make you feel better as you move through a day and propel you to make better decisions. But can it? Who knows? Yet to stress over a few hairs seems frivolous now.

Or, did I bid enough on that house, should I have gotten the black car, maybe we could have afforded to take that cruise, is my term paper long enough?

These are examples of something truly low on the importance scale.

Here’s one that caused me many sleepless nights; career choices.

I was always so bad at decisions I thought would impact my life sending me down a dark hole of despair and regret.

I chose, and when they turned out to be less than I’d hoped for I was wracked with self-contempt.  Certain I’d ruined my life for good. Yes, Drama Queen is in my resume.

Yet with age and wisdom I came to see that in the end I wasn’t the best judge of what had worked or not worked in my life. In many ways it didn’t matter because I wound up in the same place. In other words, my own divergent paths converged to take me where I needed to go.

Any time spent berating myself was a waste because the fates always lead you back. All twists and turns meet at one location; the road you are destined to follow.

I have heard the phrase, “it’s all meant to be,” so many times it’s burned into my brain.

Yet strangely enough I never paid attention until only a few years ago.

I gave it lip service, but was always filled with doubt and remorse.

Would my life have been so much easier had I heeded my own words and just let destiny take its course?

I imagine it would, and I’d have spared myself so much drama and self-recrimination. Although, even now I’m tempted to yell at myself for all those foolish moments spent chastising myself. An unproductive exercise leading to squandering the wisdom I now embrace.

Why I couldn’t simply let it all go I have no idea. Nor do I fully understand why I felt I had so much control over my life when clearly, I didn’t.

Do we all have to believe it’s only us making the choices, the mistakes, the plan that guides us forward?

Now of course I know that isn’t the case.

All the brick walls I hit my head against were put there not to give me a headache, but to encourage another path entirely. And did I spend way too much time head banging instead of simply looking around for another road? A big resounding yes to that.

Some bang, some don’t. I did.

My daughter strangely enough was the one that pointed out this character flaw. Early on she realized walls are there for good reason and not for headaches.

I’d like to think it was from watching me doing the wrong things she learned to do the right ones.

She made me understand if something doesn’t work it wasn’t meant to, and something better will come?

I do take some credit for serving as a bad example, at least that’s how I rationalize things.

Some always seem to make good choices while others like myself not so much. Like the nazi in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, who drank from the wrong grail cup. Gotta love that scene.

I do believe those who take more risks and have more options learn control is an illusionary meal we feed ourselves to make sense of it all.

We worry too much despite the advice of Alfred E. Newman the sage of Mad Magazine and ignore our calming voice screaming to be heard.

I myself spend way too much time agonizing over uncontrollable things. Despite knowing many times things turn out better than we’d even imagined.

Opting for a new untraveled road can be how we rise above the mundane to a higher level. If we remain Earthbound we may never soar.

The five things don’t matter; they didn’t alter our lives because what transformed us probably wasn’t our choice anyway.  

So, I choose to choose and forget the silly things that mean nothing in the end.

Letting go rises one higher. Bucket list time; name five things you’ve always wanted to do, then do them.

No matter what age, life’s currents can carry you to a remarkable destination. Best of all you never know what awaits you when you finally land on that uncharted isle. I’m betting nine times out of ten it’s an exciting and unexpected adventure.