“Memory is the diary we all carry about with us.” Oscar Wilde
Some fond memories we hold dear aren’t necessarily life changing by any means.
They may be small, quiet and warm and bring a smile to our face at times of need. Memories appear suddenly from a smell, a song or seeing the face of someone on the street.
There are those memories we all seem to share like family times together, picnics, days at the beach, skiing or building a snowman. Perhaps seeing the Beatles or Elvis on Ed Sullivan the first time.
Jumping into a pile of autumn leaves after your father has raked them to the curb, or licking the beater after your mother bakes cookies.
These are the sorts of memories we all hold dear.
And then there are some that are simply reminders of times we spent in a special place. Something inconsequential and meaningless to anyone but you. Yours alone to ponder on and fondly recall.
We all have those. Finishing an unforgettable book and wishing it weren’t over. Tasting a new food that suddenly becomes a necessity instead of an unknown quantity. Giving a special gift to a favorite teacher.
Yes, these are not earth shattering in any way.
Of course there are those recollections we laugh about with others. Not because they were necessarily funny, but because now they seem so foolish.
Remembering walking in a line toward the school basement to hide from the atom bomb.
Now of course we know how foolish an exercise that was.
Not just because an atom bomb couldn’t be stopped by concrete, but because the harm done by the asbestos-covered pipes in the basement were the bigger threat.
Or having a health fear eliminated when we received that Salk polio vaccine-covered sugar cube from the school nurse.
There are also the unpleasant ones that seem to crop up at odd times like a hole in your sock in the middle of a long walk.
I choose to forget those and drown them out with the good memories. Okay, so maybe a piece of chocolate, too. Hey! This is a judge free space.
The point is as we age, we collect more and more of these memories. Our brain becomes a photograph album bursting over with moments that pop up like a digital picture frame.
It’s also true they are often enhanced by having someone with whom to share them.
I really understood that when my brother died suddenly. When a memory popped up, I couldn’t’ call him and say, “do you remember?” Three words that now bring tears to my eyes instead of reaching for the phone. I always think of him when I hear Jimmy Hoffa’s name. He’d call when someone, somewhere allegedly found Hoffa’s body and we’d laugh together. Now I smile and cry.
I know it’s good to recall those memories because they keep my brother alive and that is a good thing, despite the sadness.
Memories shared with siblings may differ from person to person, but at this age far too many of us are experiencing that loss.
But we must move on, right?
Creating new memories with our children and grandchildren they can turn to and recall with fondness is what matters now.
Sure, looking forward instead of backward is the way to see things of course. Yet, there is comfort in embracing past, happy moments that even for a minute or two returns those now gone to us once more. There are also reminiscences shared with friends.
When I was editor of the Beverly Hills Courier newspaper we put the paper to bed every Thursday. Back in prehistoric times before we switched to computers, we literally pasted each story onto boards and then sent them to the printers. It was a daylong process that involved walking around the composing room for hours.
In order to make life easier and silence my bitching feet, I would wear a pair of fuzzy pink slippers. I didn’t mind a bit looking like Ralphie on Christmas morning. Soon my friends in the community began to buy me new and unique ones. My feet thanked them every Thursday.
This memory seems so small and unimportant, but it was part of the bigger one of my wonderful years at the paper. And how lucky I was to have generous friends who gifted me with comfy slippers.
Now friends mention my slippers from time to time because it’s something they also recollect with humor.
Is it a life changing moment? Okay, well maybe to my feet. But the point is it sits in my mind and is there to share with friends or alone when I see a fuzzy pink anything now.
It’s true memories cut both ways. There are happy and sad, life changing and insignificant, positive and negative and everything in between.
But I truly think we underestimate how important these recollections are to our mental well-being and happiness.
Recalling joyful moments make us feel blissful.
Remembering loved ones, even though laced with sadness, brings them back to share a moment again.
Creating new memories with family and friends keeps us alive and vibrant, and creates a wonderful gift to leave for them someday.
For my birthday last year my family took me to Disneyland. My grandson said it was one of the best days ever. I guess, that’s the most important part of our legacy after all.
This year I’m leaning toward Harry Potter at Universal. A game of Quidditch anyone?
NormaZager.com 