I Have No Words

How many times have you repeated the expression, I have no words?

I seem to find myself using it more and more in so many situations. Far more than ever before.

It’s really a very versatile expression when you think of how much it covers.

It can be a compliment. After you’ve expressed every adjective in the book to describe how fabulous your grandchildren are, I have no words would cover whatever you’ve left out.

It can be used when one is surprised. “Oh you’re kidding. They ran away together. I never even thought they liked one another.”  I have no words is the perfect follow up to express your shock.

Let us not forget how perfect I have no words becomes when you are disgusted and frustrated by politicians or some outrageous act by a government official.

Sadly, it also serves to cover your sorrow when a loved one or friend is suffering.

And this is my point. I seem to have run out of words lately. I suppose at my age that might be an age-related situation, but I can’t seem to find the right language anymore to cover how I feel about all the craziness I witness each day.

I wonder, is it me, or has the world seriously gone crazy and I’m left without the proper vocabulary to define this new insanity.

If that is the case, I imagine I can’t be blamed for a lack of language to describe the indescribable.

I’d like to believe my memory is as efficient as ever, although I know that may be a bit of wishful thinking on my part, but I do find myself at a loss for words more often.

Where once when a teen I looked forward each night at six o clock to hear Goodnight Chet, Goodnight David after the Huntley-Brinkley report on NBC News, now I recoil with fear at news reports.

There is no one to take their glasses off like Cronkite anymore. His way of letting me know he is about to tell me something I don’t want to hear.

I no longer want to hear any of it. But when Cronkite said it, at least I knew it to be true.

Knowing I wanted to be a reporter at a very early age, I became a news junkie before most of my generation. When I got home from school there was very little programming to watch so I watched the McCarthy Hearings or HUAC the House Un-American Activities Committee.

Now I’m not implying that at eight years old I fully understood what was happening or what a red scare was, but I sensed the importance of what I was watching. The seriousness of the tone, the accusatory nature, the senators leaning over and whispering led me to believe there was definitely something consequential going on there.

I imagine that’s when I began to find journalism so intriguing. Reporters were in the room, they were commenting afterward on the proceedings, they had a voice. I wanted that voice.

So now that I have a voice, I can no longer find the words. They elude me at a time when it’s most important I am able to use them.

Use them to say how frightening this world has become.

How sad I am for my children and grandchildren.

How guilty I feel for my generation not doing a better job creating a better world to leave behind.

How horrified I am by the atrocities evil performs against the innocent.

How clueless and immoral politicians are while the country burns and they seek only their own selfish agendas.

How upside down life has turned until it’s almost impossible to discern right from wrong or good from evil any longer.

How truth has been relegated to someone’s own point of view, whether it’s right or wrong.

Where do I find the words to speak the horror I feel because there are no words to cover today’s world.

It would be so easy to say it’s unspeakable, but for someone who has valued language their whole life, isn’t that a cop out?

Isn’t it too easy to simply throw one’s hands up in the air and in defeat say, I have no words?

Yet in truth I have to admit words can no longer express what we are living, feeling or seeking to escape.

If we could find the words or invent new ones, would that even change the state of affairs we are distraught about now?

What can you say to someone who has twisted and turned truth into a pretzel of wickedness?

How do you communicate with someone who can’t discern good from evil?

How do you speak intelligently to the stupid?

How can you have a conversation with a zombie mind that has been brainwashed and indoctrinated to absorb insane, intolerant and hateful ideas?

This is what words have come to…a useless flow of language out of one’s mouth without meaning or substance.

A futile effort to relate to others who have been brainwashed in malevolence.

Where have the words of kindness and tolerance been buried?

How have words of compassion and love for another human being been erased?

How will the twisted brains taught by the immoral be undone?

With my voice I can now only ask questions. Questions for which I have no answers.

I still believe the world should be made up of balance.

Question, answer, that is how it’s been done up to now. What can rational good people do to get the balance back?

Has language been so corrupted and twisted good people will ultimately find it impossible to undo the perversion?

Is the planet to continue spinning out of control on an axis of hatred and wickedness?

Would that I could find the language to solve these problems. To restore hope and optimism into a beleaguered world.

Tragically, I have no words.

How Do We Get Our Happy Back?

Okay so today I was talking to my friend Ellyn and of course the conversation morphed into “What the hell is going on with this world?”  It’s impossible to escape the absurdity looming around us like a giant cyclone of insanity.

Yet, as in any time of upheaval, sometimes it’s important to try and take some good from the situation, no matter how dire it all seems.

We agreed there was one positive upshot and it’s important to leap on and embrace it fully. The need to refocus on the little things has become imperative.

In these times of chaos when so many feel the world is imploding it’s impossible to feel in control of our own lives.

So what can someone do to recover some of the peace we so desperately need. In other words, how do we get our happy back?

How do we feel positive again and remain focused on optimism and hope? How do we ensure our little corner of the world is still ours and ours alone to do with as we please?

Can we find joy in the midst of chaos? Is there a way to take back our little corner of the world even for just a moment or two?  

It ain’t easy. When our world is spinning it’s awfully hard not to get dizzy. To prevent ourselves from falling (which is difficult on any day, anyway) and restore our sanity.

Human beings need a safe haven in any storm. We aren’t designed to live in constant turmoil with our minds constantly running wild and no peaceful spot in which to recline, catch our breath and feel safe.

I believe that’s why there are flowers, gardens, meadows with singing birds, mountain tops and huge fluffy clouds drifting through an azure sky.

Our eyes need to see and hear peace to feel it within ourselves.

So what can we do to escape into our happy place?

I imagine we must first accept the fact that happy weeks, days or months are pretty much almost impossible to achieve. Once we understand that, we should be able to embrace and enjoy a smaller portion of joy time.

It may be hours or even minutes in our happy place. Yet if we understand time there is short, we will absorb more joy from each moment.

Finding peace is much easier because we all know with few exceptions what brings us joy. This is a question we needn’t ask because we have already been there.

Time with our grandchildren or family members.

A fun dinner with friends, old or new.

Perhaps a tour of a local museum we’ve put off too long or an art gallery in a beautiful spot.

Have you watched a favorite movie that made you laugh so hard you cried?

Or a comedian who left you with spasms of laughter? Most comics have their acts up on the Internet now. Instagram Reels seems to be overflowing with hysterical moments of laughter by some very funny comics. And please let’s not forget the adorable antics of kittens and puppies.

One of my happy places is escaping into a good book. It doesn’t matter what genre. A great mystery can keep you attentive indefinitely.

Sometimes when we feel that lack of control it’s good to call a friend. One who is feeling or has felt the same way. After venting it’s important to end the conversation on the positives and be left in a better place than before you spoke.

Okay, I’ll go there. Yes, a favorite food. I said it. This diet obsessed nut is one of many, many foodies that still find some solace in that perfect bite.

It doesn’t matter what the food is because even a good diet meal can taste great. I don’t think anyone is surprised to hear that for me the happiest place on earth isn’t Disneyland, but anywhere I’m biting into a piece of chocolate.

If the pandemic taught us anything, it’s that we must be content to find our own place to thrive in chaos. Most did, but many succumbed to the awfulness and lack of control.

Yet there were new hobbies, new interests, new accomplishments during that period that served to lead us through the darkness to the other side. Many discovered talents long hidden but now much enjoyed.

I don’t have any answers for the big questions confronting us today. Sadly, it seems leaders don’t either and that in itself is a reason to be afraid. We are all watching frightful events that once seemed unfathomable and so many are depressed about the lack of control and chaos.

Humans must be safe to feel safe and now it seems almost impossible to maneuver the craziness thrown at us each day.

Where can we hide, how do we duck quickly with arthritis filled knees, what can we do to make things better?

Only do what we can to help ourselves and our loved ones find their happy place.

I wish I were a Yogi and could meditate myself onto a higher plane, but right now I’m quite earthbound.

Perhaps it’s time for a little transcendental meditation, but I must ultimately return to this planet and the eye of the hurricane. And of course if all else fails retreat into denial.

For me it’s been a challenge to ignore the craziness and find ways to find that inner peace. However maybe in some ways it’s easier because now it’s so necessary we feel more compelled to seek it out.

At least we can all escape to our little moments of joy and find some calm and happiness there.

I wish that for you all until sanity is hopefully restored onto the world.