What the Heck is a Magic Twanger, Froggy?

We all grow up with idols. I imagine who or what we choose to emulate is a reflection of our character.

So here goes and please don’t judge me.

My favorite TV personality growing up in the fifties was, drum roll please…Froggy the Gremlin from Andy’s Gang.  Hiya, Kids Hiya Hiya. Words to live by I say.

Yes, Baby Boomers were lucky to grow up with such a brilliant and hysterical array of puppets and unforgettable characters.

Although I loved Howdy Doody, Rootie Kazootie, White Fang and Black Tooth, Kukla Fran and Ollie and all the others, Froggy the Gremlin from Andy’s Gang holds a special place in my heart.

“Why?” you ask.

Who couldn’t love a frog with a deep bass voice in a suit? One who drives everyone around him crazy and gets them tearing their hair out, and screaming while you roar with laughter?

Top that off with a black cat named Midnight that says nothing except “nice” and plays musical instruments badly. Hello, pure perfection.

The sponsor was even a little strange. Some kid with a pageboy and a dog announcing,

“That’s my dog Tige, he lives in a shoe.

I’m Buster Brown look for me in there too.”

The show followed a pretty straightforward formula. Andy Divine was the host who welcomed you each week singing the sage words:

You Got a Gang

I got a gang.  

Everybody’s got to have a gang.

But there’s only one real gang for me, Good old Andy’s gang.

It all seemed pretty harmless to me. But of course, our generation was nothing if not innocent.

There was also a short film mostly starring Gunga the Jungle Boy. He rode an elephant and had adventures.

Then there may be a musical number, but the highlight was always Froggy driving his music teacher, Pasta Fazooli, and everyone crazy. He’d twist and add to their words to completely change the meaning and make them look stupid.

By the time Froggy was done they were tearing their hair out and running screaming off the stage. Froggy just laughed evilly.

Okay, so what was so funny about that you ask?

I believe this is the same generation that thought that anything bought from Acme and used by Coyote was the funniest thing of life?

And most still do.

So did we have a warped sense of humor? Or was there something we missed in the violence and nastiness? Did this lead to aggressive behavior?  What is so funny about a frog creating chaos? Driving people to distraction and freaking out while a frog breaks into fits of laughter at their pain.

Could you ever imagine Big Bird slamming the lid down on Oscar’s head? Or Bert stealing Cookie Monster’s cookies? Or Kermit making Elmo cry?

Couldn’t happen.

I see irony here. After all Baby Boomers marched against war, despite the carnage they found so hilarious.

Seriously, Coyote falling off a cliff with an anvil aiming for his head? And don’t forget that dumb look on his face. Priceless.

Despite the fact we watched the Untouchables, Froggy Gremlin driving people out of their minds, Bugs creating havoc for everyone around him and Acme selling explosives, I thought we abhorred violence.

We marched against a war and made Peace, Love and Rock and Roll the watchwords of our generation.

We were Woodstock, The Chicago Seven and flower children. If true, how were we affected by the violence we found so uproariously funny?

“Watching violence in movies and on television is potentially harmful to your child. As early as the 1960s, studies reported that watching violence can make children more aggressive.”

This is what the experts claimed.

Still, is it true? It doesn’t seem to make any sense at all.

I always turn my head away from the horse head in the bed scene every time I watch The Godfather. And I have watched it a lot.

Were we being brainwashed to accept pain and destruction as commonplace? I never felt that way, but perhaps I was naïve.

Was Froggy the inspiration for Jedi mind control. After all what is different about Froggy changing the meaning of someone’s sentence and Luke saying “You will take me to Jabba?”

Was pluck your magic twanger, Froggy some sort of secret code for brainwashing?

Have the CIA and Mossad adopted it to use on terrorists?

How could anyone accuse Midnight the Cat, whose every word was “Nice,” of exhibiting aggressive behavior?

Let’s get real here. Do you really believe Baby Boomers were affected by Ming the Merciless when Flash Gordon chased him through space on his cardboard rocket ship?

Or wanted to emulate Superman when he hit the bad guy a foot away from his face?

For heaven’s sake people, have you forgotten about Lassie and Timmy?

Yes, I agree Viet Nam changed us. We were greatly upset by the Chicago Democratic Convention of 1968. No doubt about the horror we all felt watching the brutal violence against our peace efforts.

Yet no one can ever convince me that Froggy, Bugs or Yosemite Sam created a generation of violence-prone adults. Did we all grow up to be the Three Stooges?

Perhaps we were an angry generation, I’ll give you that one.

War, Watergate, John, Martin and Robert assassinations, drugs, the loss of innocence, all contributed to a feeling of frustration and hopelessness. But violence? I just can’t see it.

Yet, if I’m wrong about the impact, I’m not about the need for the laughter.

I admit our taste was a bit juvenile. But Froggy and his magic twanger (whatever that is) or Acme’s weapons list seemed to provide great laughs. After all Punch and Judy are older than dirt.

Can laughter be a bad thing? No one will ever convince me it can.

If you say it is I’ll get really angry with you and…

Never mind. Have a nice day.

A Little Sunshine, a Lot of Rain Makes My Fig Tree Happy Again

Makes My Fig Tree Happy Again

I don’t know why but human beings need a lot. Sometimes when I’m ordering from Amazon for the fifth time in a day I think, why the hell do I need all this stuff to function?

But we do. Sad really that humans have put themselves into a position where we perpetually demand…stuff.

Stuff.

Lots and lots of stuff.

Toothpaste, soap, food, towels, cable television, air fryers, band aids the list is endless.

If you think I’m exaggerating try going to the drugstore sometime and walking out with only one thing.

Or check out Costco. Baskets filled with giant sizes of products that could feed a family for weeks.

Humans demand a great deal to function.

We not only need things, but we need emotional stuff too.

Love, caring, support, kindness and all the other bits and pieces that make us feel wanted and loved. It’s in our DNA.

Cut to my tree.

I have a fig tree outside my window. The gardeners have chopped him up numerous times with no mercy. I’ve been devastated at times when I look out and see what they’ve done to this poor little green leafy object trying to survive.

He’s looked sick for months and then something miraculous happens. Rain and sunshine and suddenly he’s standing strong again. He’s taller and fuller and his leaves are green and shapely.

His little figs return and he’s off to the races.

All because of some rain and sunshine.

How many people do you know who can survive on rain and sunshine?

How many people do you know who can survive without constant attention or a great car or Starbuck’s?

I don’t pretend to know why humans are created as we are, but I suspect long before there was an eight-dollar cup of coffee we were able to get through a day.

Think back to cave times when it was only about the basic needs?

Today no one could even survive on basic cable.

Humans needed food and shelter. There were no designer loin cloths and of course fur skins came cheap and they didn’t buy them at Dennis Basso.

So we actually survived without Netflix, toilet paper or organic kale. I guess everything was organic back then and they didn’t even have to pay Erewhon prices.

So evidently we don’t need as much to survive…or do we?

Is there any doubt we could never continue to live in this world without all the “things” we have?

So of course I realize we’re not plants and need more than water and sunshine to flourish, but actually we need both of those as well, yet plants are very content to make do with just that. When did we decide we couldn’t?

How did we evolve into a planet full of hoarders?

Even homeless people push shopping carts filled with their possessions from place to place. We all seem to need things.

What if we gave everything up and went back to living simply without streaming channels, cars, pressed juices, and uber?

Once we were happy with nothing, but it would be impossible for us to function as human beings in this world now without all our stuff.

We’d survive, but we wouldn’t know what to do with ourselves.

How would we pass the time?

We could take long walks. Yes but we’d need good walking shoes on the concrete. After all our feet aren’t used to long walks without proper footwear.

Oh and we’d need clothes cause people get arrested for going around in public naked unless you’re in San Francisco.

There’s that word need again, did you notice?

What am I trying to say?

I guess I’m a little jealous of my Fig tree. To thrive and be so happy with just water and sunshine.

Those things make me happy too, well of course the water has to be filtered, and I’d need sunscreen.

It just seems to me we’re all so addicted to stuff now. The things we need to need to get through a day.

All these “articles” make life so much more complicated. Not for what they are, but for the fact we need money to buy them.

And there’s the rub as Hamlet said, money.

Trees don’t need money to be happy yet as humans we’ve set up a system where we can’t live without it.

And not just a little…a whole lotta money especially these days.

With each dollar we need we move farther and farther away from the basics of life.

Yes, I seem to be channeling my inner sixties mentality when fifteen people lived in a VW van painted with colorful flowers.

When communes were all the rage until people outgrew them and went out into the world to become millionaires.

Jerry Rubin one of the Chicago Seven went to work on Wall Street.

So is there any way we can actually live a quiet uncluttered life if we choose to?

Well the hippy in me would like to think so. But the Yuppy in me hears the voice of Gordon Gekko, don’t be stupid… “Greed is Good.”

I guess we can never go backwards now when we’ve all been acclimated to need and want.

Let’s face it, we enjoy our nice cars, our good restaurants, our organic foods, our pretty clothes and our cornucopia of Apple products that get us through each day.

I suppose it’s the grand design after all that we grow and prosper. Constantly moving like a shark in the water and never standing still.

It’s just that my fig tree looks so damn happy and content out there soaking up the sun and he doesn’t even need sun block. Maybe more time in the sun might do us all some good, I’m sure it couldn’t hurt. I just have to go on Amazon and order some new trainers and I still have the last season of Succession to finish. Oh well, I can always soak up some sun tomorrow.

Coconut Sunshine Chicken Tenders

1 cut up chicken. Use thighs, breasts or drummettes

1 cup coconut

½  cup almond flour

½ cup panko

½ cup flour

2 eggs beaten

canola oil deep enough to deep fry

salt and pepper

Cut chicken into pieces as desired may be strips or chunks

Combine dry ingredients

salt and pepper chicken and almond flour, panko and coconut breading mixture

Dip chicken into flour, then egg and finally into all three dry ingredients combined.

Drop gently away from you into the 350 degree oil.

Fry until chicken is cooked on both sides, approximately 5 minutes.

Drain and serve with pineapple sauce.

Pineapple sauce

1 cup crushed pineapple

1 tablespoon apricot preserves

1 teaspoon ketchup

Mix together in blender or food processor until combined but still chunkyish.