Tag: Black Tooth

The Zen of Mr. Ed and Wise and Wascally Wabbits

My brother loved cowboys. Roy Rogers, The Lone Ranger and Tonto, and of course Marty’s favorite, Hopalong Cassidy.

I myself preferred Rin Tin Tin. Every time I heard the words “Yo Rinty” my ears perked up and I felt like chasing bank robbers. When Rin Tin Tin came after you it was no contest. He was always a hero.

Then Mr. Ed came along of course.

Yes, I watched Mr. Ed. Did I believe a horse could talk, no. Although he did sound so authentic. But it wasn’t that Mr. Ed was a talking horse that made him fun. It was what he said. Let’s face it, if Ed was an intellectual saying stuff like E=MC squared (I don’t know how to type squared) that would be boring. Even if the words were coming out of his ass.

So it wasn’t the talking angle that captured viewers. It was the mouth on him. He reeked with sarcasm and because he was a horse, pulled it off. People couldn’t say what Ed said. No way. But from him…pure gems. The ruder and more demanding he was, the more entertaining the show. And Wilbur just went along for the ride. Literally. Ed had no filter and the subjects were universal.

On being a household pet: “If you had a dog, you’d let him sleep in the house… Then call me ‘Rover’ and wake me at eight.”

Food: “Stop gabbin’ and get me some oats!”

A simple life: “Well, time to hit the hay…oh I forgot, I ate it!”

Ed on fashion: “I’ll wear it till it goes out of style. Then I’ll eat it!”

He was demanding, sarcastic and always lording his superior intelligence over poor Wilbur.

One of my favorite episodes was when Mr. Ed was reading the morning stock reports in the paper and said he was glad his money is tied up in hay.

He then began a dialogue about his lack of financial security and what would happen to him post Wilbur. What if his wife Carol married a horse hater? Watching him question Wilbur about his will was brilliant. Hey, even a horse has to have something to retire on! Maybe it was Mr. Ed that subconsciously influenced our decisions to start an IRA.

Okay so the humor isn’t Seinfeld, but what did we know?  Even Larry David had to start somewhere. To us sophisticated humor was Milton Berle dressed as a woman. Or the three stooges, I will say no more.

Of course there was nothing odd to us about talking animals. After all, if you grew up in Detroit you ate lunch every day with Black Tooth, White Fang, Willie da Worm and Pookie the lion.

To be honest they were far superior to many people I’ve had to dine with in my life. There have been times I would’ve much preferred listening to Black Tooth kissing Soupy, than conversing with the person sitting across the table from me.

Seriously, can anyone top Soupy asking White Fang if he took a bath and White Fang answering “why, is one missing?” I still laugh.

Or when White Fang was chasing a rabbit and shot it and Soupy said, “Oh well, Hare today, Gone Tomorrow.” Do not mock me…just watch this Soupy moment on a day you need a laugh and tell me you aren’t hysterical. Here’s the cyber land address, or whatever it’s called https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fv9Rr6zPZuE.

When one thinks about it, we actually started believing animals talked with fairy tales and of course there was Jiminy Cricket.

Yep, a cricket that wore a top hat, carried an umbrella and sang When You Wish Upon a Star. I still wish on stars. Oh sure, like you don’t. And I still clap for fairies, too. Tinkerbell counted on us.

Rocky and Bullwinkle. Iconic and the whole Boris and Natasha thing, too funny. Who didn’t love Dudley Do Right or Peabody’s Improbable History? I’ll give you two to one odds even Peabody could never have seen this future coming.

We had Mickey Mouse and his club. Yes, I was a Mousketeer. Winnie the Pooh and his big tummy. Somebody needed Ozempic.

There is no way I could ever write about talking animals without mentioning one of the greatest of all time. The king of sarcasm, the greatest stinker of all, the irascible and inimitable Bugs Bunny. The wascally wabbit himself.

Who couldn’t love him watching him dress as a woman to fool the Tasmanian Devil? Always outwitting Elmer Fudd, and Elmer was the one toting a gun! Funny when you think about it there was a lot of violence in those cartoons, hello roadrunner. Yet, perhaps because it was a cartoon we never equated it with any reality. Today I suspect it wouldn’t pass the PG13 seal of approval.

Bugs was not only the best, he was a step ahead at all times and we loved him for it. There was Zen in Bugs. His wit, his guts, his brain taught us one of life’s great lessons…brain beats brawn anytime.

The whole crew was wonderful, Daffy Duck, and poor Sylvester whose mouth was always watering for the Tweety Bird. If you think about it animals brought us a wealth of laughter and a lot of wisdom to boot.

They are and were such a positive part of our lives. Still today kids are watching and enjoy new generations of talking canines, rabbits, dragons, pussycats and numerous other species.

I personally believe this is one of the foundations for growing up compassionate and kind.

Loving animals, feeling as though they are friends and being entertained by them.  Learning this at a young age has always and always will be an enjoyable and important lesson.

So if you’re having a bad day, watch YouTube. All the old shows are on there and I guarantee the kid in you will still be singing along. M-I-C-K-E-Y-M-O-U-S-E.

Lunch Was Super With Soupy Sales

It wasn’t a fancy lunch at the Polo Lounge or Spago, but mostly peanut butter and jelly, some tuna fish and lots of Jello that went boing, boing, boing. Not five star or gourmet fare, but they were the best lunches I’ve ever had. As a special perk the menu for the next day’s lunch was posted on the blackboard so we could entreat our mother to duplicate whatever Soupy was having. We weren’t just viewers, we were Birdbaths. Members of an elite card carrying club that drank United Dairies milk.

I’ve been really fortunate in my life to meet and dine with some pretty incredible people, but I’ll take my memories with Soupy Sales, White Fang, Black Tooth, Willie da Worm, and Pookie over anything. The knowledge I gleaned from the words of wisdom written on the blackboard under the title Soupy Sez were invaluable. Such gems as; “Be true to your teeth or they’ll be false to you,” “Over the teeth and through the gums, look out stomach here it comes,” “When a man writes a song in his automobile, it’s called a cartoon,” “You show me a man who puts his parakeet in the blender and I’ll show you a man who makes shredded tweet,” “Birds are really something to crow about, but a bird in the hand can be a mess,” “Show me a woman who has misplaced her handbag and I’ll show you a tote-all loss,” “Show me a novel caught in a wind storm and I’ll show you a book gone with the wind,” or “Show me a midget king and I’ll show you a twelve-inch ruler.”

Or such informational weather reports on his ancient radio as, “there will be a volcano eruption today so for your own safety learn the words to lava come back to me.”

Add to that learning to dance The Mouse and the Soupy Shuffle and our aerobics were included with lunch.

It wasn’t just learning the skill of taking a pie to the face or being made aware how careful you need to be before opening a door unless you knew the pointed finger or arm waiting on the other side or a celebrity waiting to get a pie in the face. It was the interaction between friends that taught me so much. Let’s face it, who else could ever get away with throwing a pie in Frank Sinatra’s face and live? The pranks, including one infamous moment Soupy opened the door to a naked woman we never saw on camera as he fell apart, are still part of the show’s mystique.

Of course White Fang and Black Tooth were the experts at getting one’s point across without the use of intellectual phrases or complex sentences. Just a few shakes of the paw and a couple of familiar grunts were all we needed to get the message and laugh uncontrollably. Their grunts far exceeded the intelligence of most politicians today. No interpreter necessary, we understood every “eh eh eh” White Fang uttered. To this day an imitation of those two extremely vocal hounds can send me into fits of laughter. Perhaps I can credit them with my editing abilities. Thanks guys for jump starting my journalism career.

Of course Willie da Worm as Soupy called him, was a great life lesson as well. Prone to sneezing fits and health issues, he owned the moniker, “the sickest worm in all of Detroit.” He made one wonder how many other sick worms there were in Motown. The way Soupy delivered his sympathetic offerings to the poor little ailing creature taught me true compassion. It’s one thing to offer empathy to another human being, but the idea of opening my heart to a worm, I have to confess it opened my eyes. Nowadays Willie da Worm would have to take  a COVID test. Times have changed indeed.

Soupy was constantly telling Black Tooth, the biggest sweetest doggy in the United States, “don’t kiss.” While he attempted to untangle himself from her hugs he advised her to drink lots of milk because it gives the cows something to do.

I could double up in hysterics faster at a puppet hand that made noises than at people.

Now Pookie, that was one cute little lion. Always referring to Soupy as “Boobie” it’s no wonder I love cats so much. And that cat could scat like Ella Fitzgerald or put on a wig and sing like Petula Clark. Okay so maybe he sang pretty badly, but I was actually grateful something existed with a voice worse than mine.

White Fang, the biggest, meanest dog in the United States was not only nasty, but oh so clever and conniving. He never failed to put one over on Soupy. Guess it should have taught me to beware of cute dogs or good looking men with bad intentions.

The guys in the studio snickered at all the puns and bad jokes and many times you weren’t quite sure why. So I also learned the meaning of an inside joke.

Between the insane news reports and future guest stars like Moshe Dyan Cannon and Belly Savalas, it was non-stop insanity. Yet, more than anything from watching the interaction between Soupy and the gang, we noticed how Soupy, befuddled look on his face, actually listened to his puppet friends. Maybe that’s where we learned how.

Yes, the humor was shtick and craziness was the order of the day, but we laughed and loved every minute. Half the humor we got, half not so much, but we heard the guys in the studio roaring with laughter so we smiled along. The point is we had a side order of giggles with our lunch. It wasn’t politically correct and it didn’t have the artful banter of a Neil Simon, but it lightened our day. And after lunch we returned to school with a full stomach, a happy heart and Soupy throwing us a big kiss.