Tag: atom bomb

It’s the Time of Year to Share Our Childhood Memories

This time of year is prone to dredge up memories of long ago tucked away in the recesses of one’s mind. I’m not quite certain it’s the holidays or perhaps that whole getting older and long-term memory that creates a sudden rush of childhood recollections.

I simply know that they are coming in droves.

Of course there is that desire to recapture earlier times spent with family and friends, laced with bittersweet emotions of loss and regret.

For myself living so far from my childhood home I find a lack of snow matters. No blanket of white feels as if an old friend that visited every season has deserted me in lieu of palm trees and blue skies.

Now believe me I’m not saying slipping and sliding along the streets in the cold and slush would be preferable, but there was something about falling snowflakes that just felt right.

I also seem focused on school around the holidays.

We strained at the bit to reach that last day before winter break when a teacher would dress up as Santa and pass out candy canes and Vernor’s Ginger Ale.

Our elementary school was named after James Vernor of the ginger ale company so they gifted us with their soda and candy canes each year.

Santa would be played by a teacher covered in a beard and of course we would whisper about who it might be as we waited in line for our treats.

Childhood seemed quite naïve and innocent so small moments were intensified and more special. We even believed hiding in the school basement under asbestos pipes would prevent an atom bomb from harming us. Silly, right?

Or that a wooden desk would hide us from a nuclear blast.  Either they didn’t know the truth or weren’t about to share it with all of us. Seems so foolish now.

Baby Boomers lived a life full of new discoveries. Television began small and black and white forcing us at times to strain to see the picture among snowy waves.

We used rabbit ear antennas on the television set covered with aluminum foil to enhance the signal as we moved them back and forth while our brother directed until the picture clarity was optimum.

Snowy or clear we rushed home to watch the Mickey Mouse Club and later American Bandstand. Our eyes transfixed on this new way to be entertained and transfixed.

I begged my mother to let me stay up and watch Milton Berle on Tuesday nights and still vividly remember the Texaco servicemen that started the show.

We had strange puppets like Rootie Kazootie and Howdy Doody with visible strings. We never minded or enjoyed them any less; in fact, being able to discern the strings was part of the fun. Every kid wanted to be part of the peanut gallery. Then, when a TV dinner on a metal tray table was added to the mix, it all seemed too perfect.

We even had party lines on the phone for a short time as the new technology was growing faster than the company could provide. Limiting use the phone to only certain times seems comical now when we can’t put it down for a minute.

Could you imagine kids today being told they had to share their phone with someone else? I believe it would lead to some violent revolution.

But to us it was a new magical instrument we were happy to have for any amount of time. A new way to broaden our horizons and communicate with friends.

There was no Google, only sets of Encyclopedias, no computers, only visits to the library branch nearest our homes.

We could spend a lazy summer afternoon reading and sharing comic books like Archie, Katy Keene or Superman with friends munching on snacks. Candy bars were two cents or a nickel and we drank cherry cokes or chocolate phosphates at soda counters served up by kids in white jackets and hats.

We played hopscotch, four square, jumped rope, played jacks and roller skated in metal skates with our key on a ribbon around our neck. Marbles clinked along the sidewalk and we traded movie star pictures cut out of fan magazines.

We ordered the scholastic books from school and couldn’t wait to read them when they arrived.

It seemed the smallest things were a big deal back then. Including rushing over to the first neighbor’s house on the block to own a color television.

Obviously, I’m waxing nostalgic about a time that is now gone forever. Our grandchildren are living in a new world filled with things we only read about in science fiction novels.

Technology that causes my eyes to glaze over as my kids or grandkids attempt to explain it to me.

Our children do battle to keep them innocent and away from the screens and kudos to them for doing so. Yet the world changes each day and new innovation is now moving at a faster pace than ever before.

I’m certain someday our grandchildren will look back on their childhoods with a sense of joy and wonder as we do, at least I hope so.

Was our innocence a good or bad trait? Were we blindsided a bit finding the future was often as scary as Orwell had predicted, or Flash Gordon was actually Neil Armstrong? Were we literally over the moon when man first landed there in front of our eyes?

Am I implying Baby Boomers don’t embrace this new world and its wonders? Heck no! We are all into it big time and enjoying the ride. It’s just nice to wax nostalgic at times and remember our innocence.

Each generation will experience new and uncharted roads to travel. I hope wonder and peace will continue to be a part of their journey. I know it was ours. As much as things change one thing never does…the smell of a turkey roasting in the oven on Thanksgiving. We can all be thankful for that.

Please share your memories with me, I’d love to hear them.

How Chocolate Will Keep You From Aging Revealed

Sorry, that headline is a lie. Chocolate won’t keep you young, but it will keep you happy. Since the word old is often used in a negative sense, implying ancient, outdated and decrepit, we all need some happy.  

I’m starting to think someone should add my name to that definition list.

It’s just of late I’ve started to really feel my age.

True, there is the possibility that I’ve previously used rationalizations like I didn’t sleep enough last night or the weather is making me so tired etc. etc. But I have come to accept that excuses simply don’t cut the mustard. And by the way what does that expression mean anyway? I can’t imagine how old and stale someone’s mustard must have been to need to cut it before serving. But I digress, also probably a part of getting old.

Thankfully I believe my mind is still a teenager, but my body seems to be channeling Methuselah in his later years.

So what can anyone do to postpone old age?

Is there any way to regain strength and vitality?

If, as some claim food plays a part in the aging process, is it time to forego the snacks I’ve eaten and enjoyed my entire life?

I shall begin with chocolate. If I give up sugar will I feel younger, or will it just seem like the days are longer without that Cadbury egg?

Does diet really change the dynamic of aging? I have no idea so I checked into it and I will save you the trouble of having to google all that crap.

According to Cleveland Clinic these are some of the side effects of sugar; weight gain, acne breakouts, reaching for multiple snacks, mood swings and irritability, lack of energy, craving more sugar and tossing and turning and tossing at night.

After checking out the list I have to say that at my age acne is not enough to make me consider giving up Godiva. If you want me to give up mother’s milk you have to do better than that.

Okay, so I continued and it says reaching for multiple snacks. But it doesn’t say that the snacks you are reaching for are necessarily Cheetos. What if you’re reaching for an apple? So that would be a good thing, right?

Weight gain? Oh Boo Hoo. I’ll never wear a bikini again? That possibility ended when I discovered that there wasn’t a strap strong enough to hold up my breasts.

Besides I haven’t worn a bikini since 1971.

Okay, I’m still waiting for that magic bullet that will scare me off the sacred cocoa bean.

Hmmm, mood swings and irritability.

I thought that occurs because I can’t remember why I walk into the bedroom to find something and can no longer remember what it is. Or because it now takes ten minutes to straighten up after sitting in a chair.

Sure there is irritability when I look into the mirror and see my mother’s wrinkled face staring back at me. Who the heck wouldn’t be irritable, so stop blaming it on chocolate.

It also says that if you consume sugar, you crave even more. Let’s see. Allow me to do the math. You have a package of Oreos with three sleeves of cookies and you eat one whole sleeve. What are the odds you will wake up the next day and want another sleeve?

I’d bet my last farthing it’s one million to one I’m downing that other sleeve for breakfast with a cold glass of milk as a healthy side.

And now we get to the big one. Loss of energy. Funny I always thought sugar gave you energy. Yes, I know the comedown from a sugar high can be pretty brutal. Still  after I’ve come down it’s time for my afternoon nap, so it works out great. At least I had some yummy chocolate while I was awake.

So far I’m not convinced food is the answer and we can blame sugar for all those things.

According to one expert, and aren’t they all, genetic factors and lifestyle choices, such as smoking, diet and alcohol consumption, can also impact aging. However, the expert said bad sleep is the biggest impetus to faster aging.

Okay I promise I’ll be diligent about sneaking in a nap every day. When I think how I fought against sleep as a kid I laugh. Now I’m in my jammies and ready for beddy bye as soon as I come back from the early bird special.

Some say exercise is the magic bullet. Tell that to my aching hip when I try to simply stand in the kitchen and cut up a pineapple.

And I have to say if one more expert says it’s all about fiber, I will pour a box of Fiber One down his throat with a quart of almond milk. Let’s see how he likes spending all his remaining days in the bathroom?

It is also written on the all-knowing google that you have certain aging spurts at different times in your life. Apparently, the biological aging process isn’t steady and accelerates periodically, and wait for it—the greatest bursts come, on average at 34, 60 and 78.

Yep, I definitely noticed I was feeling much older at 34 than at 33. It’s coming back to me now how much harder it was to chase around two children at 34. At sixty I don’t remember much about how I felt except damn depressed about turning sixty.

Facing 78 soon I’m thinking maybe there is something to that age spurt thing because I’m noticing a bit more resistance on my body’s part. Like when I say, “okay let’s go to the mall, walk around and shop,” my body hides the car keys.  So maybe there’s some truth to that one.

Despite just the experts’ opinions there is the fact my friends are saying they are feeling a bit older these days. They claim their stamina is now successfully hiding somewhere in Greenland or Australia, but I think I’ve solved the aging conundrum.

Since I do admit to a slight sense of foreboding a week or two before my birthdays akin to what the Japanese must have felt as the atom bomb started dropping, perhaps we are overlooking the obvious.

The real culprit here is depression; that’s what ages us.

And no, I don’t want to hear all that malarky about you should be so happy just to be getting older.

That’s like saying, “Aren’t crow’s feet great? They really add a new dimension to your face.”

I’m sure we’re all grateful to be getting older and actually I’m not certain I’d have the strength to do this whole exhausting ride over again. Yet there is a sadness about watching the years pass.

And as optimistic as we’d like to be, birthdays are bittersweet.

We all wish we had the ability to run after our grandchildren like we did our kids.

That our metabolism hadn’t passed away ten years ago, and our feet actually could touch the ground without pain again. And the big one, that the loved ones we’ve lost could still be with us.

But at the end of the day, we must play the hand we’re dealt. I guess the truth is some of us age better than others. Is it luck, lifestyle or genetics and does it matter?

Still, it’s true old age isn’t for sissies and we must roll with the punches.

The only difficulty with that solution is how long it takes to get up after all that rolling.

But the good news is: You will never be younger than you are today. So just open a box of Godiva and enjoy the ride. What the hell, you’ve already paid for your ticket.

Mel Brooks and the IDF The Greatest Jewish Weapons

Recent media would lead one to believe a Jewish man by the name of Oppenheimer created the most powerful weapon in the universe.

Okay, it was good or maybe not so good, but Jews have always had the most powerful weapon necessary to ensure their survival. A sense of humor.

Every family has an Uncle Saul who believes if he could get out of the family room and onto a stage in Las Vegas he’d surpass Shecky Green by miles. He always has the latest jokes, a comment about Aunt Rose’s brisket and he hides the afikomen so well no one has ever found it until the house was sold and the new owners remodeled.

It wasn’t important if you were laughing with Uncle Saul or at him, the point is there was laughter.

This has sustained the Jews and always will.

Just add the IDF to the equation and no one can defeat us.

In the Bible it is written that the army who carries the Ark of the Covenant before it is invincible.

I believe that along with the pieces of the Ten Commandments locked inside it, there is also Myron Cohen’s best Jew jokes from the Ed Sullivan years.

Now in a time of great pain and suffering for Jewish people and the risk of destruction coming from all continents on earth, is it possible to find humor in anything?

Can we laugh at the atrocities committed by Hamas who is now a big favorite with Jew haters all over the world?

Can we laugh at the fact our Jewish children are no longer safe in colleges and universities across this country?

Can laughter sustain us when we realize the country we have loved and supported our whole lives is now as welcoming to Jews as Nazi Germany?

Or the fact that one day soon we might all face a modern day Anatevka of our own?

So I suppose the question that has been on my mind is: “So where is Mel Brooks when we need him?” Is there a modern comedian today who can fill his shoes or even wants to?

Who has the guts to take on a Hitler, a Haman, a Hamas or a Torquemada?

Who is proud enough of being a Jew that they would sacrifice the ridicule from their antisemitic friends to stand up and make us laugh? Sadly some of these antisemites are actually Jewish.

World War II had weapons and even at the end one of mass destruction.

Nothing in history has been as great a weapon against the mustached lunatic than Springtime for Hitler. Dancing girls in Swastika formation marching and singing, every Jew laughed until he cried. And the tears were cathartic. Even now as we are trying to heal from these latest attacks on our people, we must not be afraid to laugh. Laugh so hard we cry and the crying cleanses us.

When Mel Brooks took an enemy down, he did it without mercy and he was our greatest general.

We need Mel now. We need him to take down Hamas and allow us to laugh at their insanity and evil.

Laughter and the IDF are the weapons that will ensure the Jewish people survive this latest horror and continue to prosper as a people.

Some may say it’s too soon, but is it ever?  If laughter is one our greatest weapons, why would we hesitate to use its force against this new and imminent threat to our people.

I’m sure Mel would do a piece on the Hamas leader hold up in a five-star hotel in Qatar complaining about the room service not having any bacon for his cheeseburger. Perhaps he might have him flirting with the server and trying to convince her to join him for a costume party where he dresses up as Amal Clooney. Maybe Mel would have him posing in women’s clothing as a closet gay man playing with Barbie dolls and dressing them in Burqa bikinis while he tries on bras.

Or maybe he would have to move to a much larger hotel room to hide and store all the food and supplies he is stealing from the Gazans Israel is flying in to them.

I’m sure he would look like Dick Shawn in blue Jeans, a Campbell soup can around his neck and a flower behind his ear.

As ridiculous and stupid as any evil maniac should be portrayed, Mel could do this like no one else. I can’t even try to imagine how funny it would be. He could make us laugh at this monster and reduce him down to the size of a cockroach small enough to step on. And that is the point.

Jewish people must never get caught up in this new mentality that making fun of and with people is wrong. That laughing at ourselves is not a great way to deal with our flaws and that although the world is against us, laughter will still serve as our greatest weapon against evil.

It is the ideal way to point out the stupidity, horror and savagery of the malevolent among us and cut them down to size.

Evil has no sense of humor. Once someone exorcises jollity from their spirit, they align themselves with idealogues and maniacs that take existence and their own craziness too seriously. They can’t condone humor and only live to serve their own evil agendas.

Jewish people need laughter as well as the IDF. We need our comedians, even our Uncle Sauls who can put a bagel on his nose and sing a chorus of Hava Nagila without dropping it.

Humor is a gift meant to be opened when all else fails to work to keep us going. It’s the way Jews have survived the ages and will again.

I pray Mel Brooks comes to our rescue and if he is not able to do so, we must pray our new hilarious Jewish comics, and there are many out there, will be able to carry on. I’m certain Jerry Seinfeld or Larry David are up to the task and could fill Mel’s shoes.

And believe me those are some pretty giant shoes to fill.