I am so tired of hearing men talk about how women nag. What in the world defines nagging. Perhaps we should switch it around and say men don’t do things on the first five times they are asked. So women are merely inspiring them.
Now that makes more sense to me.
One never hears about the fact that all great inventions throughout time have been inspired by women. And the fact men don’t always respond to first requests.
No, this is not a sexist rant so just go with me please. I shall gladly explain.
For example, the trash compactor is the direct result of women asking their husbands to take out the garbage. How many men have been sitting in front of the television watching football and heard their wife call out from the kitchen.
“Honey, take out the garbage, please.”
No response.
“The garbage is overflowing I need you to take it to the can, please.”
No response except a whoop from the den about some field goal.
“Hello, the garbage isn’t going to take itself out.”
No response.
The wife enters the room.
Her husband looks up innocently.
“Didn’t you hear me ask you to take out the garbage?”
“I was watching that last play. It was amazing you should have seen Mahomes? The guy’s beyond great. Do we have any more of those potato skins left?”
“The garbage is overflowing. I need you to take it outside. The next commercial you can grab the bag and not miss a play.”
“Sure, sure as soon as the game is over. And could you check on those skins please? I almost forgot, are those wings done yet?”
“You said that hours ago.” Wife sighs, husband returns to game.
At some point in the evolution of man one husband took a minute to focus on what his wife was asking.
He inquired, “Why can’t you take out the garbage?”
Leaving the hospital after having the can of Budweiser removed from his ass, he pondered the question of why men have to do garbage duty.
Wait. he thought, perhaps there is a way to delay the inevitable. Why not just crush up the trash to allow room for more. Then less trips to the garbage can.
And thus the trash compactor was born. And yes, we have women to thank for that one.
Now we turn to the refrigerator.
In the beginning I imagine a woman discovered that she could keep leftovers from spoiling when they accidentely dropped into an icy snowbank.
“Oh look,” she told her husband. “This leftover deer is still fresh. Can you build me a box that’s cold enough to keep leftovers in?”
Man decided this would greatly lessen his need to hunt so often and spend more time on other pursuits. So he thought long and hard about how best to accomplish his wife’s request.
Hmmm, he thought. Maybe I can cut down a tree, hollow it out and fill it with ice. Then she can put the meat inside.
It caught on quickly and soon everyone in the area were making tree freezers.
Women were ecstatic to have this convenience.
On a roll now, next, women wondered why they had to leave the cave in freezing weather to cook the food over a fire.
“Hey, Hymie, Can you make a cooking pit inside the cave for me? It’s too cold to stand outside and roast a moose.”
Despite thinking her a bit demanding since he had just created a frozen tree, he relented. Not wanting to be kept away from fun time with his bros, he quickly found a spot to keep the cooking duties inside.
But he still reserved the right to cook over an open fire outside. So in essence barbequing, over which men still hold dominion, became another lifestyle innovation. One that women and men agreed was a twofer that benefitted them both.
In all three of those progressions into the future it was women cajoling their husbands to help with the chores that led to these modern improvements.
I believe one of the most overlooked of modern conveniences has not been credited to women, but mistakenly to men.
The automobile. Yes, men get the credit, but it was women that inspired the idea.
Let us check our history.
It happened during a rainstorm. The ground was muddy and difficult to walk over.
There was to be a party at a neighbor’s cave. The husband sat waiting and watching two neighbors killing one another over a bear carcass. After his wife finished dressing, she entered his area of the man cave wearing a new tiger skin and matching shoes.
“Let’s go,” he grunted. “We late for party.”
When they reached the cave entrance she turned to him.
“Excuse me? Hello, it’s wet.”
He walked out as she stood fixed on the spot.
“Come,” he urged. “We miss all the chicken wings.”
“You really expect me to walk out there in the rain in my new frock and shoes? You must be crazy if you think I’m trudging through the mud. I’ll look a mess by the time I get there.”
“Not my fault it rains.”
“Well, I’m not walking.”
“You expect me to carry you?”
“That would be fine.”
He continued toward the neighbor’s cave as she stood fixed to the floor.
“Come!”
“Nope, I’m not ruining new outfit. You carry me or I not go.”
He looked back to see her standing, arms folded and staring at the cave ceiling.
“Oh brother, you take the cake,” he said as he walked back into the cave. He lifted her asking, “Happy now?”
“No, not really I’m still getting wet.”
And so was born the wagon. And, of course the umbrella soon followed. Then the car etc. etc..
So who actually inspired the car? I believe I solved that riddle.
I could go on and on, but I believe I’ve made my point.
Men may have created many inventions we enjoy today, but women inspired and cajoled them to do so.
I have never seen a muse pictured as a man. Neither have I ever seen men inspiring wars to be fought over them. Helen of Troy? Trojan Horse?
Before you get all sexist accusing on me, I am merely pointing out that women have inspired men to do better, grow and create.
Even in the Garden of Eden it was Eve who told Adam there was no reason to run to the grocery store when apples covered the trees.
Oops, okay maybe that was a bad example, but I believe I made my case.
I don’t want to be one sided here, so I will admit men are responsible for inventing ear plugs. There, Fellas, happy now. I gave you credit.
So next time a woman says, “How many times do I have to ask you to…” perhaps she is merely inspiring the next great invention for mankind. Just say thank you and get to work, Guys.
NormaZager.com 