I haven’t had this much fun watching a courtroom happening since the OJ. Trial. I cannot take my eyes off the trial in Georgia with the DA and her boyfriend. It has reminded me how slippery lawyers can be. I know of course no one can ever be Perry Mason. I’m not foolish enough to believe that anyone like Perry actually could exist, but not since I heard the words “if it doesn’t fit you must acquit” have I so enjoyed watching slimy lawyers at work.
Of all the take aways so far, my favorite is how many times one of the lawyer witnesses has spoken the words, I don’t recall. He also relied on the all-time favorite “Could you repeat the question?”
I have decided that, “I don’t recall,” even when he is faced with actual written documents that contradict his testimony, proves this guy must have developed dementia.
Can you imagine how great it would be if we could use the words, “I don’t recall” every day in real life?
Although I think this lawyer has probably used up all the “I don’t recalls” available to humans on the planet, I still feel there may be a few more hanging about. You might find a few lying around a federal court building.
So just to be clear “I don’t recall” is actually another way of saying “I’m lying, but I don’t want to be charged with perjury.” Or in everyday lawyer speak, “I lie like a rug.”
So how can we all make use of these words to our advantage in everyday life?
Let’s say that someone asks you, how do you like my new hairdo? You see that it actually looks like they just stuck their head into a blender, but don’t want to hurt them.
“Can you repeat the question?”
“Do you like my new haircut?”
“I don’t recall your old haircut.”
“It was longer and pulled back.”
“I don’t recall.”
“I just want to know if you like it.”
“I’m sorry, can you please repeat the question?”
“My hair, is it better than my old style?”
“Not that I recall.”
“Oh just forget it!”
They may be frustrated with you, but at least you didn’t have to lie.
Or just perhaps if we tried it on a policeman who just pulled you over.
“Do you know how fast you were driving?”
“I’m sorry, Officer, I don’t recall.”
“You don’t know you were driving twenty miles over the speed limit?”
“Could you please repeat the question?”
“Do you even look at your speedometer?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Recall what?”
“Recall how fast I was driving.”
“I asked you if you looked at your speedometer.”
“Could you please repeat the question, Officer?”
“Which question?”
“How fast I was driving.”
“So you knew you were speeding, but don’t recall how fast you were going?”
“I’m sorry could you repeat your original question?”
“Which question?”
“I don’t recall.”
“Are you on any medication?”
“I don’t recall, Officer.”
“You don’t recall taking drugs this morning?”
“What was the question?”
“This is the name of a psychiatrist here in the city we work with. Maybe you should go and see him.”
“See him about what?”
“Your memory lapses.”
“I don’t recall any memory lapses. Did I forget something?”
“Drive slower or next time I’ll give you a ticket.”
‘Is that why you stopped me, Officer?”
“I don’t recall. Now drive safely.”
I think I’m on a roll and discovered something great here.
I’m going to try it on the next man I date that keeps bugging me after I move on.
“Hello, is this Norma. When did you change your phone number?”
“I don’t recall.”
“I had to call your friend to get the new number. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Could you please repeat the question?”
“I was asking when you changed your number.”
“I don’t recall that. Are you sure?”
“Yes, I tried calling the old one and a recording came on.”
“Could you repeat that, please?”
“I called the old number you changed.”
“I don’t recall.”
“Recall what?” He asked.
“My old number.”
I’m hearing confusion in his voice now. It’s working.
“I didn’t ask you about your old number.”
“Well, could you repeat the question?”
“I was asking why you didn’t tell me.”
“Tell you what?”
“That you changed your number?”
“I did, I’m sorry I don’t recall.”
“Recall the number or that I asked you?”
“Oh my, you’re confusing me. Could you repeat the question again?”
His voice is getting louder now.
“I’m asking why you never told me you changed your number.”
“I said I don’t recall.”
“Recall what?” He was shouting now,
“What you were asking me. Maybe you should repeat the question.”
“Maybe I should just lose both your numbers, the old one and the new one. Would you like that?”
“Could you please repeat the question?”
“Maybe you’d prefer if I never called you again. Maybe that’s why you never gave me your new number.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t recall, but if you’re going to shout at me please lose my number.”
Slam.
Well if he’s that touchy I’m glad I didn’t give him my number.
Gosh, I hope he’s the one I don’t like and not the guy I do.
Oops, I can’t seem to recall. Dang!
NormaZager.com 